No, My Body is Not for Your Viewing Pleasure, Thank You Much.
20 Aug
The dreaded miniskirt - a gaurantor of catcalls.
A recent conversation among friends (in addition to this Jezebel post) prompted me to comment on what I feel is one of the most tragic, perpetual obstacles facing girls and women everywhere. The constant objectification of the female body is a challenge presented to all women, regardless of whether they want such attention. The matter of clothing, and the question of whether women can attract “negative” attention by wearing certain things, is becoming a hot-button issue in the media. I remember Bill O’Reilly had made some comments regarding a young woman, Jennifer Moore, who was raped and murdered in New York City. For some reason, the fact that she had worn a miniskirt out that night made it into the reporting of her brutal murder. O’Reilly, ever the scumbag, made this gem of a comment on his show:
She was 5-foot-2, 105 pounds, wearing a miniskirt and a halter top with a bare midriff. Now, again, there you go. So every predator in the world is gonna pick that up at 2 in the morning.
The idea that the victim of such a horrific crime could be somehow culpable for her fate is truly nauseating.
Every day, women are subjected to unwanted evaluations of her appearance. This is not due simply to what she could be wearing – this is because women are institutionally perceived as sexual objects free to be rated and criticized by men. How do I know this? It happens to me every day, no matter what I’m wearing.
Women, whether we like it or not, are subject to a constant stream of assessments of our face, body, and overall physical appearance. Men constantly decide whether we are “desirable” or “fuckable”. We are the entertainment for our male counterparts. Many men (I’m not trying to make a blanket statement here, but trust me, it’s a lot of men) believe they have a right to rate and judge the appearance of every woman who crosses their path. Cat calls, whistling, nasty comments (“Spread those legs, mami,”) are often the norm in the lives of most women. I believe I first noticed men looking at me when I was little more than ten years old. Of course I was tall (perhaps around 5’4″ at that time) for my age and probably had begun developing in my chest, but I was nowhere near mentally or emotionally capable of understanding what was happening when I saw men leering at me. Adolescence can be a frightening thing for either sex, but with the growing emphasis on the sexual worth of young women, the difficulty of growing up as a girl in a society that seems to value the appearance of a woman above any other attribute can be devastating and confusing.
This constant objectification has spread into the educational realm, as well. At my high school, girls whose outfits were deemed “inappropriate” were forced to wear an over-sized yellow t-shirt for the rest of the day. I remember my sister being subjected to this barbaric display of control when she was a sophomore. I also noticed that the girls who were often forced to wear the big yellow t-shirt were the girls more often known as “troublemakers”. I would often wear tank tops or shirts that gave hints of cleavage, things very similar to what the other girls were wearing, but I never had to wear the t-shirt. This has led me to believe that certain girls were targets for breaking these dress code rules, while others (the A students, the Homecoming court, etc.) were the exception to this rule.
So what can be done to reduce the horror that comes with having breasts and hips? Nothing, really. Parents can take the extra steps to help educate their children on the sensitive nature of a developing body, which could perhaps change the attitudes of people over time. I know that if I have a son in this lifetime, I will surely teach him to keep any sexual thoughts he has to himself while in the company of young women. That’s probably the least I can do. Respect for women begins within the family, and it’s a parent’s responsibility to portray this ideal. Sexual thoughts, however, are natural, and it should not be a goal to suppress such a thing. Exercising discretion is likely the best anyone can do.
Unless something magical happens to change how society views women and their bodies, I will likely continue to endure catcalls and leering eyes for however long men will think I’m “hot”. Because being hot is the only thing a woman should have going for her – ignore her mind, humor, and values. She is tits, ass, and legs – nothing more. This is reality, and it’s sad for us all, but at least I look pretty living in it.
True Blood: We Want to Eat You
15 Aug
Eric getting the 3rd degree.
This week, Eric makes his return to Louisiana and Fangtasia, where he is scorned for his actions and “silvered” as a punishment. Eric is then forced to give a statement on Russell and his intent to “subjugate” all humans to Nan Flanagan, who takes time out of her schedule to make sure the Vampire Rights Amendment passes. Russell rushes to his manse only to find Talbot a gooey, bloody mess of a vampire. Bill and Sookie are back together, of course, and they spend time together by cleaning up dead bodies and such. In the meantime, Tara is still upset over being upset, and Sam has to watch it all unfold. Tara eventually finds herself in a support group for abused women. He also has to keep watching Tommy. Jason prepares to go up against Crystal’s tormentors/fellow meth cookers, and Hoyt and Jessica continue to pine for each other. Arlene makes a decision every woman has to make for herself regarding her pregnancy. And Russell, well, Russell is about to rip America a new one.
Highlights:
- Eric looking pretty genuinely scared when he was being questioned about the disappearance of the magister (whom Russell killed).
- Eric’s amazing recounting of werewolves in Constantinople. A man who knows history, rawrrr…
- Eric: “Fuck the authority! Russell’s words, verbatim.”
- Sookie finding out that Hadley’s son has the same mind-reading abilities.
- Eric telling Pam that it is her “turn to be a maker,” while comforting her in his arms. Sigh.
- Russell is carrying around Talbot’s remains in a glass jar. Gross.
- Eric is given permission to get vengeance over Russell, but he mentions his fear of Russell being three times his age.
- Nan Flanagan to Eric: “Listen, you whiny pile of shit.”
- Sam beats the shit out of Crystal’s creepy dad, and Lafayette and do the right thing and take him to the hospital.
- OOH! The return of Franklin! Surprise! I knew he wasn’t dead!
- And then Jason saves Tara with wooden bullets! Clever!
- Russell’s guest appearance on TBBN. He means war.
- “We are not your equals. we want to eat you…after we eat your children. Now for the weather…Tiffany!”
Lowlights:
- Bill and Sookie’s cheesy, trying-too-hard-to-be-sexy shower scene.
- Tara is still crying with her shivery, shivery lip.
- Why did Terry have to call Sam over to make the sex noises stop? Can’t Terry do anything? Man up.
- Sam walking into the sex-noise apartment in question to find Tommy, petite, pale, and naked, getting it on with a girl he probably would never get it on with in real life.
- Tara goes to a group meeting for women who have been abused. Blah.
- Hoyt taking Summer to Merlotte’s right in front of Jessica. He’s pretty much an ass.
- Summer: “Can’t do much antiquing after dark, can we?” Eww, she likes antiquing.
A shitty preview for next week’s episode, “I Smell a Rat”:
True Blood: Hookah, I Need to Know: You Got a Death Wish?
9 Aug
Goodbye, Sookeh
This week’s episode, “Night on the Sun,” centers on Sookie and Bill’s jeopardized relationship. Even though Bill saves Sookie with his blood, he no longer wants to hurt her, and he leaves her hospital room after a teary goodbye. In the meantime, Eric appears to have gone insane while in the confines of Russell’s mansion. He gets down on bended knee and proclaims his loyalty to Russell. Ick. Lafayette comforts Tara in her continuing post-traumatic stress. When will Tara ever have something good happen in her life? Blah. In the saggy-underpants world of the Mickens family, the mother finally gives in and leaves Bon Temps without Tommy. Later on, Lafayette’s crazy mother reappears at his doorstep, screaming about vampires. I guess they have to use Alfre Woodard somehow. In Jason’s simple-minded world, Crystal shows up to his house with a black eye and asks him for some whiskey. And oh yeah, he’s preparing to avenge Bill for harming his sister, but that’s just a minor detail.
Highlights:
- Eric mentioning how he enjoys “a good head-ripping” as much as the next guy.
- Terry singing to Arlene’s pregnant tummy (which still doesn’t look pregnant at all) and turning into Rene. Welcome back, you rapey murderer, you.
- Jessica hugging Bill.
- Nelsan Ellis has great arms, and those women’s halter tops he wears shows them off. That is all.
- Aclide and Sookie’s lingering, sexually-tense goodbye. No Alcide, do not go. Take off your pants, first.
- Bill teaching Jessica how to fight.
- Bill to Jessica on Sookie: “Jessica, it’s over.” Jessica: “No way.” Bill: “Way.”
- Jessica telling Bill how she’s in love with Hoyt and how “it sucks.”
- Eric’s snug, vertically-striped shirt. Wowzers.
- Talbot: “I’m bored. Take off your clothes .” Eric, looking around: “A little…privacy?”
- Eric was really getting into kissing Talbot…then he almost got coital with him before he stabbed him to death.
Lowlights:
- Bill trying to order Jessica to leave. “I can’t protect you! I’m no gooood, to – you!” Over-inflection, much?
- Tara’s shower masturbation scene. I mean, that’s enough of Franklin.
- The return of Crystal. What is she, damnit? And more importantly, do we still care?
- Tommy trying to threaten Hoyt. I don’t get it. Leave poor Hoyt alone.
- Sookie and Bill’s kissy reunion after fighting off Debbie and Russell.
- Um, Jessica was really into drinking that werewolf’s blood…awkward.
Questions for next week:
- What will happen to Eric and will he face any consequences for killing Talbot?
- Will Jason continue to try to save Crystal the meth cook, and why?
- What is Sookie, exactly?
Here’s a preview for next week’s episode, “Everything is Broken”:
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True Blood: I Just Need Some Meth.
3 Aug
All eyes on Sookeh.
Please excuse my tardiness with yet another installment of True Blood highlights and lowlights. I had a lazy weekend.
This week’s episode marks the halfway point of the season. We open on Lorena still sucking on Sookie, declaring that she tastes delicious. A weak Bill then chokes Lorena with silver and encourages Sookie to kill Lorena. After Lorena’s gone, some challenges still remain: Debbie, Alcide’s ex is hopped up on V and corners Sookie, Alcide and Tara in the shack. The three manage to escape and embark on a wild van ride. Meanwhile, Hoyt and Jason continue to face romantic challenges galore, and Eric continues to try to get any information on Sookie from the Queen of Louisiana. Sookie eventually ends up in a coma after Bill drinks her blood to revive himself, and Jason, Lafayette and Tara hold vigil for her in the hospital.
Highlights:
- Lorena is finally dead. Sookie jammed a broomstick through her heart, sending the she-devil back to hell in a huge burst of blood.
- Hoyt and Jason bonding over being depressed over girls. This is how I hope boys really are.
- The Queen of Louisiana sitting in a cage so elegantly.
- Jason asking Lafayette to get him some meth.
- Sookie’s coma dream – I would really like to know what the water Sookie was drinking tasted like.
- Lafayette’s prayer over Sookie in the hospital. Lafayette is consistently proving to be one of more deep characters on the show.
- Russell torturing the magistrate in the basement of Fangtasia. “Ay, que lastima!”
- Eric: “Your majesty, shall we?” Russell: “We shall. Actually, no. Say hello to the true death.” Then he slices off the magistrate’s head.
Lowlights:
- Summer, that annoying chick Hoyt went out on a date with last week, wandering into his place with biscuits. Back off, bitch.
- All of those horrible, gross people who were so into dog fighting.
- Bill tossing Sookie around like a plaything and sucking her blood – not hot.
- Yet another seen of the Mickens father in his underpants – coupled with Sam calling him out for his “saggy underpants”.
- We finally see that Pam has been tortured at Fangtasia for the last two weeks. What the f?
Questions for next week:
- What will happen between Sookie and Bill? Did Bill really not remember drinking her blood?
- How will Eric’s relationship with Russell develop?
- Will someone notice that Franklin is dead in his bed? Will anyone care?
Here’s a preview of “Night on the Sun,” next week’s episode:
Fake Accents and the Women Who (Don’t) Love Them
2 Aug
Can you tell me what country's flag this is? Oh wait. No, you can't.
This weekend I went to my favorite bar only to be hit on by an idiot who decided to pretend to be Scottish. I was trying to tell one of my male friends how common it is for men to try to pretend to be something they are not in order to impress a girl. Faking an accent, certain personality traits, and perhaps even lying about where one has spent time is all very common when young men try to pick up on girls. The real issue with men faking exotic foreign accents is not whether they can pull it off, but rather more about how women actually fall for such nonsense.
The stereotype that no woman can resist a foreign accent truly bothers me. If this were true, I’m sure a lot of women would move to Europe or Australia (the Australian accent is the most irresistible accent, as both Russell Crowe and The Outback Steakhouse have taught us) for the express purpose of finding a man with an accent. When women fall for such superficial bullshit, they automatically set themselves up for disappointment. Just because a guy has a British accent does not mean he could be any less of a jerk than an American guy. Accents do not serve as a cover for being a true asshole.
In my particular case, a young man approached me, telling me that he thought I was beautiful. I thought he sounded funny from the beginning – he immediately followed his compliment with a declaration that he was from Scotland. Um, okay. No, you’re not. There were several reasons for me to doubt what he was saying – first, he was wearing a Von Dutch hat. The Von Dutch hat is not only the mark of a douchebag, but it also signifies someone who knows very little about fashion, which many Europeans actually care about. He also kept going on and on about some military regiment he was in and that he had come here to train American soldiers to rescue others from bad weather situations in the mountains. What mountains in Scotland could he have possibly trained on for such nonsense? I ended up Googling “mountains in Scotland” and found out that the highest peaks of the Highlands are no more than 4,000 feet. How could that possibly compare to a Colorado fourteener? Another lie. Then I tried to play detective.
“So what’s the capital of Scotland?”
Blank stare from Mr. Von Dutch.
I went to college, I know the capital of Scotland is Edinburgh. That should be easy enough for someone who claims to be Scottish, but, no answer.
Then he made a fatal mistake. I don’t remember what I asked him, but his answer was “Aye.” What Scottish dialect uses “aye” as a substitute for yes? The answer is none of them, unless all Scottish people are pirates.
I finally asked this moron if he had either a passport or visa to show me. He said he had neither of those with him. I made my point a little more clear: “This is a bar. They had to have checked your ID at the door. Can I see the ID that you showed them?”
The young, stupid boy pulled his wallet from his back pocket and opened it, revealing a standard US military ID. He tries to pull it out of his wallet ever-so-slowly. And what could be underneath this military ID but a motherfucking TENNESSEE driver’s license!?! I caught him lying and told him,”Look I know you’re faking an accent and I think it’s really lame.” A look of embarrassment and shame washed over his face and he trudged away.
I couldn’t help but point out the stupidity of this kid. He chose the wrong woman to try his horrible Scottish accent on. I once met James McAvoy at the American Eagle Outfitters I worked at in New York, for godsakes. I know a Scot when I see one. (But mostly when I hear one.) The sad part is that there was most likely a woman on whom his pathetic Scottish-Southern accent worked. And he probably got laid. That was a sad night for America.
True Blood: Eric, What the F*ck?
25 Jul
Poor Arlene and her poor, horrible life.
This week, Sookie comes into danger when she gets taken to the King of Mississippi’s mansion, and Eric apparently has led Sookie on to believe that he cares about her. Russell questions Sookie about what she is, but she really doesn’t know – and she’s shocked to learn that Bill has kept a file on her family for centuries. Meanwhile, Tara is still trapped by Franklin, and she’s so crazy that she bites into him and drinks his blood. Jason hits a snag with Crystal, who turns out to have a fiance with a beaten-up face. Russell invites Eric out with him to see the Queen of Louisiana, from whom Eric rescinds his loyalty. Sookie tries to save Bill after he’s fed on by a werewolf and his werewhore companion, but Lorena, ever-persistent throws her against a wall and starts drinking.
Highlights:
- Lorena to Sookie: “I would love to rip you open and wear your ribcage as a hat.”
- Sookie’s impression of Eric: “Sookeh…you make me feel almost human.”
- Jessica giving a break to the ever-frazzled Arlene by glamouring a customer into leaving a huge tip.
- Jesus and Lafayette = warm and fuzzies.
- Eric’s flirtatious card-playing with Russel’s consort, Talbot.
- The return of the Queen of Louisiana!
- Eric tell the Queen, “No sweetheart, you go fuck yourself.”
- Tara going all Lizzie Borden on Franklin – WOW.
Lowlights:
- Jason and Crystal making out by the lake – no one really cares.
- Lorena tying up Bill and slicing him open – Bill’s face was ridiculous in this scene.
- Tara is still tied to Franklin’s bed – ew. And Franklin calls her a “wicked little strumpet” – double ew.
- Bill’s long, miserable monologue to Lorena as he’s laying in a puddle of his coagulated blood.
- Any seen with any member of the Mickens family – they can go away, now.
Here’s a preview of next week’s episode, “Hitting the Ground”:
True Blood: Bitch, Where You At?
20 Jul
Tara, the blushing vampire bride.
I apologize for my being tardy with this True Blood post – I had to haul-ass to the ladies.
This week’s episode found Tara continuing her hostage role in Jackson at the manse of the King of Mississippi. Tara begs Bill for help, but of course he says no. Franklin lets Russell (the King of Mississippi) know that Sookie is in Jackson. Meanwhile, Sookie and Alcide flee Jackson in a hurry, but Alcide tells Sookie who Russell is, and naturally wants to talk to him. Eric attempts to pin the sale of V in area 5 on Bill, but it backfires when he sees that Bill is staying with Russell willingly. In the meantime, Jason is still trying to be a cop, and Jessica gets sad when she sees Hoyt on a date at Merlotte’s, but Tommy cheers her up. At the conclusion of the episode, Franklin asks Tara to be his vampire bride, and Bill shows up to warn Sookie, who discovers she has another supernatural power.
Highlights:
- Talbot, the king’s “royal consort,” checking out Eric and asking, “Have we met?”
- Alcide’s 1985-looking ex-girlfriend telling Sookie, “I’ll fuck you up!”
- Franklin’s extremely fast texting.
- Jesus watching his new crush Lafayette work over a hot grill at Merlotte’s.
- Eric’s snug pastel green sweater.
- “You don’t get it you dumb motherfucker! I own him, head to tail!” – the Mickens father to Sam. Eww. Everything is becoming more clear.
- Tara: “We need to talk.” Franklin: “Don’t say that. Women say that, everything goes black, and I wake up surrounded by body parts.”
- The flashback to Eric’s real life showed that even Viking parents criticized their kids at dinner.
Lowlights:
- Tara spending most of this episode tied to a bed. And the combination of Franklin rubbing his cheek to hers while she is immobilized.
- I didn’t really care for Jason pulling over his new flame, Crystal, without a shirt on. We get it. He’s hot.
- Tara and her shaking. Quit the shaking, already. It’s not a useful character trait.
- So I guess Eric’s parents got killed by werewolves. Tough break.
Next week’s episode: “I Got a Right to Sing the Blues”
Waiting for a Man to Call You is Stupid: Here’s Why
19 Jul
You have a phone. Use it to get what you want.
Many women I know follow the “he’s just not that into you” school of dating. I cannot, will not, ever, ever, ever get on that train. I find it completely irrational that a man is expected to do all the legwork in dating. Some friends of mine (actually many friends of mine) seem to think that a man must make everything happen in a courtship situation. Not so, ladies. Not so.
Why is it that the male should decide whether HE’S into YOU? What about deciding whether YOU are into HIM? The double standard in heterosexual dating is entirely damaging to women. Women have been conditioned to think that a man must do all the pursuing, and if (god forbid) the woman does any of the hunting, she’s obviously DESPERATE. This way of thinking allows for women to become victims in a cat and mouse game that they might not even want to be a part of. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been pursued by men whom I had absolutely no interest in! And they never give up easily! I’m sorry, but I’ve already decided whether I am sexually attracted to you within the first ten seconds of meeting you. Sending me random texts for the next two weeks saying nothing more than “Hey” will do nothing for you.
I’m not saying that women should go out and proposition all the men they find attractive. All I’m saying that women should do the shopping, too. What about finding out more about someone as a person before trying to date them? This generation is geared toward instant gratification – we have Facebook, Twitter, texting, and pretty much every other possible form of communication possible. If a guy gives you his number, he’s probably interested and may want you to contact him if he’s at all shy. How can it work to a woman’s advantage if she’s being told to not use any form of contact with a guy she might be interested in? Men have all the same insecurities (maybe more) as women – they are just as terrified of sexual rejection as we are.
What I’ve noticed about a lot of the women who follow books like The Rules (a fair review of this book will be upcoming on Fixed Air), is that they often go through high numbers of men in very short relationships. And many of them never seem to be single long enough to understand that a woman does not need a man to complete her existence. Quickly jumping from relationship to relationship is a completely detrimental practice that corrodes both mind and soul. You do not have to be “in a relationship” at all times to feel good about yourself as a woman. Sometimes, it’s knowing who you are, in terms of your values, expectations, and dreams that could give you worlds more confidence than a boyfriend. These women tend to “play games” with men, and think that ignoring a guy’s phone calls will somehow make her more desirable. Guess what? Men have insecurities that also cause them to question whether a woman likes him.
I have recently asked several male acquaintances whether they think it’s okay for a woman to contact them. They all said the same thing – that it’s a relief when a woman they like contacts them. They say it takes the guessing out of the equation and lets them know that the woman they had eyed isn’t completely terrified of him. I think it seems completely backward and old-fashioned to have to wait for a man to do everything. The games that people play are completely annoying, and I feel that if people stopped playing and perhaps lowered their guard for a moment, they may be surprised when they connect with someone who isn’t completely shallow.
There is nothing wrong with asking a man out. Nothing at all. I’ve done it and it works. I asked out my ex. We are exes now, yes, but we were together for a long time. You don’t necessarily have to call a guy, either. Maybe send him a text inviting him to a casual get-together with friends. What’s most important is to get to know the guy first. That seems to be the top misstep people make when getting into dating relationships – you have no idea who the person is or what they’re about.
Most men probably pray to the gods each night that a woman will ask them out instead of having to go through a bunch of awkward lines, sweating off his Old Spice all the while. Asking a guy out works most of the time. (Probably 9 times out of 10). I challenge you to try it sometime. Why should women have to waste time going on dates with men they do not find attractive or interesting? Why should women always wait around to be hunted by emotionally out-of-touch alpha males? Oh yeah, because society told us to.
Inception: Bringin’ Sexy Back
17 Jul
Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man...
I looked forward to Inception for a really long time. Was it worth the year countdown I started when I first saw the trailer last July? I’d say so. The movie is practically one big mindfuck, but can I dare to say that I understood the mindfuck completely? The conversation I had with friends following the movie involved a lot of debate over what was going on. And what exactly was going on? In my mind it’s very nearly crystal clear, but I won’t spoil it for you.
Leonardo DiCaprio (looking extremely masculine and sexy as hell) is Cobb, a former architect of dreams who is offered a huge job by Saito (Ken Watanabe) to plant an idea in the mind of a young man, Robert Fischer, Jr. (Cillian Murphy), set to inherit his father’s energy empire. Cobb is struggling with the memories of his wife (Marion Cotillard) and his goal of eventually being able to see his children again, so he takes the job. In order to plant the idea in Fischer’s mind, he needs an architect to construct a dream so layered that Fischer’s subconscious will not be able to penetrate it. He hires Ariadne (Ellen Page, looking like a fetus amongst great men) at the whim of Michael Caine, who taught Cobb what he does (extracts secrets from people’s dreams).
When the team is finally assembled, experiments with sedatives and wild dreamscapes fill the screen. The visuals were near-perfect, and the cinematography magnificent. For me, the only thing lacking was a more deep, emotional story. It could have gone further on that level. And because it’s a Christopher Nolan film, it simply gets more complicated from there. But the ending, oh boy, the ending is where Nolan really fucks your mind.
Please see this movie. It’s a welcome relief from the crap that has been coming out of studios this year. I don’t have much more to say. If I said anything more you’d probably dislike me for ruining something. I will say one more thing. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (playing Arthur, Cobb’s longtime partner in the extraction business) is an extremely lithe man. Good for him.
I’m likely going to see this movie at least one more time, just to get my theory straight. Check out the trailer, just in case you haven’t watched a TV in the last five months:
Grade: A-
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