Tag Archives: Eric Northman

True Blood: Bitch, Where You At?

20 Jul

Tara, the blushing vampire bride.

I apologize for my being tardy with this True Blood post – I had to haul-ass to the ladies.

This week’s episode found Tara continuing her hostage role in Jackson at the manse of the King of Mississippi. Tara begs Bill for help, but of course he says no. Franklin lets Russell (the King of Mississippi) know that Sookie is in Jackson. Meanwhile, Sookie and Alcide flee Jackson in a hurry, but Alcide tells Sookie who Russell is, and naturally wants to talk to him. Eric attempts to pin the sale of V in area 5 on Bill, but it backfires when he sees that Bill is staying with Russell willingly. In the meantime, Jason is still trying to be a cop, and Jessica gets sad when she sees Hoyt on a date at Merlotte’s, but Tommy cheers her up. At the conclusion of the episode, Franklin asks Tara to be his vampire bride, and Bill shows up to warn Sookie, who discovers she has another supernatural power.

Highlights:

  • Talbot, the king’s “royal consort,” checking out Eric and asking, “Have we met?”
  • Alcide’s 1985-looking ex-girlfriend telling Sookie, “I’ll fuck you up!”
  • Franklin’s extremely fast texting.
  • Jesus watching his new crush Lafayette work over a hot grill at Merlotte’s.
  • Eric’s snug pastel green sweater.
  • “You don’t get it you dumb motherfucker! I own him, head to tail!” – the Mickens father to Sam. Eww. Everything is becoming more clear.
  • Tara: “We need to talk.” Franklin: “Don’t say that. Women say that, everything goes black, and I wake up surrounded by body parts.”
  • The flashback to Eric’s real life showed that even Viking parents criticized their kids at dinner.

Lowlights:

  • Tara spending most of this episode tied to a bed. And the combination of Franklin rubbing his cheek to hers while she is immobilized.
  • I didn’t really care for Jason pulling over his new flame, Crystal, without a shirt on. We get it. He’s hot.
  • Tara and her shaking. Quit the shaking, already. It’s not a useful character trait.
  • So I guess Eric’s parents got killed by werewolves. Tough break.

Next week’s episode: “I Got a Right to Sing the Blues”

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True Blood: Ring, ring, hookah. Ring, ring.

12 Jul

Lafayette peddling his precious V.

This week’s episode, “9 Crimes,” centered on Sookie’s developing dependence on Alcide, who, let’s face it, is a mighty fine man. We also saw Bill tell Sookie that he never wants to see her again. Good riddance, Beehl. Franklin furthered his hold on an already weak Tara, holding her captive and glamouring her into giving him information about Sookie and Bill.Lafayette almost got jumped when a V deal nearly went bad, but Eric swooped in to save him.

Jason didn’t really do anything, but Hoyt saw Jessica talking to a boy (a boy she was actually glamouring to prevent her parents from finding out her real fate) and got sad. Fangtasia got raided for V, and when questioned, Eric promptly blamed everything on Bill and fled while Pam was strung up and burned with silver. Oh, and Sam’s going to continue to allow his disgusting “family” to park their van near Merlotte’s. What a generous soul.

Highlights:

  • Bill telling Lorena: “It’s been a long night, and I need to sleep. Now get the fuck out.” Then he punched her all the way out of his room.
  • Eric’s fantasizing about Sookie – very sexy. She smelled his memories and said that he smelled “like the ocean in winter.” Mmm, Nordic men.
  • The fact that Franklin was considerate enough to leave Tara tied up on the toilet without her pants on truly impressed me.
  • After Eric flew out of Lafayette’s car, Lafayette says: “Oh hell – what am I supposed to do with this fucked-up-ness?”

Lowlights:

  • Franklin creepily sticking his tongue on Tara’s.
  • Sookie pounding those shots of whiskey at Lou Pine’s – ew.
  • Alcide’s ex-fiance Deb looked like she stepped out of 1985, complete with huge curled bangs and an oversized leather jacket.
  • Bill’s “procuring” of the husbandless, childless stripper. I felt bad for her – especially when her blood started leaking from the door of the limousine.

Questions for next time:

  • Why were all of those men turning into werewolves? Can Alcide not control his shifting?
  • What does the King of Mississippi want with Sookie?
  • Can Tara and her horrible life get more horrible?

Here’s a preview of next week’s episode, “Trouble”:

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True Blood: I Got Your Rug All Wet.

29 Jun

Eric Northman - we need more of him.

Last night’s episode kind of bored me except for all of the sex! I mean, has there ever been more sex in one episode of True Blood? Let’s break it down (the sex, that is):

  • The show opened with Tara having sex with Franklin, the latest vampire to come to Bon Temps. I really couldn’t stand Tara’s non-realistic orgasms. I mean, her eyes were rolling into the back of her head. Come on. No one, not even a vampire, could give someone such a ridiculous, lame, over-reactive orgasm.
  • Pam was interrupted by Jessica calling her on the phone while performing cunnilingus on the Estonian dancer girl (the same one Eric did for six hours in the season premiere), saying ever-so-sultrily, “Fangtasia. This better be good.”
  • In one of the most horrifying scenes ever on TV, Bill hatefucked Lorena, all the while screaming, “Never, never!!!” Then he twisted her neck around so her head was on the opposite side of her body. No fucking joke.

Wasn’t that horrific? Love it!

Other highlights of this episode:

  • Eric killing a werewolf in Sookie’s house, leading him to notice, “I got your rug all wet.”
  • Eric helping Sookie bury the dead werewolf and admitting that werewolves are a major challenge to his strength – Eric’s more sensitive side is showing this season.
  • Arlene going to the OB/GYN only to find out that her baby is close to ten weeks old. Uh-oh. (i.e. It’s probabaly not Terry’s kid. Sad.)
  • Jason: “There are two kinds of people in the world, people who got no dreams, people who got dreams and don’t do nothing about it, and people who go out and fulfill their dreams and I’m the third kind.”
  • Eric gifting Lafayette with a car for being his top seller of V.
  • The addition of Alcide as Sookie’s werewolf protector (as assigned by Eric).
  • The preview of the next episode, showing Sookie and Eric kissing – yes, please.

Lowlights:

  • Any scene with Tara. Hopefully now that Eggs is in the ground she’ll wise up and stop acting like an eye-rolling tantric sex freak.
  • Sam’s dad’s underpants. I hope that guy isn’t a serious method actor, because it does look like someone made real skid marks in those nasty things. (Oh, and what the hell is going on between Sam’s dad and brother? I sense incest.)
  • Not enough Eric.
  • Not enough Lafayette.
  • Bill declaring his loyalty to the King of Mississippi = ew.

The next episode, “9 Crimes” will air on July 11th. This preview got me very excited – I can tell this season will be a vast improvement over the last.

Good god, this looks amazing. The Bill wanting to kill Eric plot is making me trip out.

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True Blood: Mr. Northman, Will You Please Come In?

21 Jun

The third season of True Blood is off to an amazing start. Last night’s episode followed Bill in his continued effort to escape his kidnappers, while Lafayette takes a suicidal Tara to visit his own mother in an institution. Also, Jessica attempts to dispose of the dead body she still has hidden in the floor, and Eric talks vampires and Nazis with Sookie.

Other highlights:

  • Blood bisque and blood gelato served by the Vampire King of Mississippi.
  • The flashback to World War II with Eric and Godric posing as SS members.
  • The revelation that Sam’s brother is also a shapeshifter.
  • Sookie’s impression of Bill: “I keep expecting him to come through the door and say, SOOKEH.”
  • Eric, at seeing Sookie cry, saying:”Please don’t do that. It makes me feel disturbingly human.”
  • Bill throwing a lit candle at Lorena (Um, where the hell did she come from?)
  • “Mr. Northman, will you PLEASE come in?” Enough said.
  • Snoop Dogg’s “Oh Sookie” music video. He’s so fucking serious, it’s amazing.

And some pressing questions for next week:

  • Who (or what) moved the body Jessica had in the cellar?
  • What’s the deal with Franklin Mott (the newest vampire to come to Bon Temps who helps Tara beat up on some bad dude)? Is he good, bad, or good at being bad?
  • Will Sam be able to trust his biological parents? What about his shapeshifter brother?
  • Will Sookie take up Eric on having some “primal, passionate sex’? I will if she doesn’t.
  • Is Bill ever making it back to Bon Temps? More importantly, will anyone care?

Here’s the promo for last week’s episode, “Beautifully Broken”:

Oh, and Snoop:

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