Tag Archives: John Mayer

Things I Almost Tattooed On My Body (Thankfully I Did Not)

8 Jan

Ah, youth. The sweet sting of broken hearts and the beginnings of alcoholism. Living it up while you’re young (see, YOLO) is a major part of American society, as is making the commitment to allow another human being stab permanent markings into your skin with a sharp needle. Tattoos are fun and by god, they will help you show off your awesome personality and the things you loved, even for a moment in the turning gears of time.

There are several tattoos I’ve considered in my short lifetime, and all of them were really stupid ideas. Here, a list of the things I almost allowed a stranger to stab onto my body in permanent ink:

1. Drama Masks

Photo from DeviantArt.com

Uh-oh. This girl was not so lucky.

When I was in high school I was extremely involved in theater.  While I still love theater, my former favorite activity has taken a backseat to my goal of writing for film and television.  It’s a good thing I did not get this tattooed on my body not only for my personal interests changing, but also this is the kind of tattoo that can really frighten someone when they see you naked for the first time. I mean, what is up with the sad face? It looks like a Dali painting gone wrong.

2. Flower near my crotch

I used to think it would be kickass to have a tattoo of a flower right above, well, my flower. This was a dumb idea and it also did not come to fruition.

3. Lady Gaga lyrics

I went through a pretty serious though brief Lady Gaga obsession a couple of years ago.  It was around the time that Gaga released the song “Bad Romance” off of The Fame Monster. The lyrics in question? “I’m a freak bitch, baby”.  Why did I think this was so awesome? I though it would look pretty cool placed on my left hip wrapping around the area where my underwear would hit.  That way guys would see it and feel super lucky to be with a “freak bitch”. Seriously.  This was a rough time in my life and I would prefer if you withheld all judgment.

4. A Colorado flag

Photo from Westword.

What does this even mean? When did the great flag of Colorado take a beating?

I grew up in colorado and although it is an amazing place full of natural beauty and old friends, I really hate it here now. I do not want anything associated with this place on my body. Thanks but no thanks. I doubt the flag of the Centennial State would have held its shape if I lived for a century.

5. “Shhh…” on my index finger

OMG Rihanna, we get it.

Sometime in 2008 or so a few celebrity ladies started getting “Shhh…” tattooed on their index fingers.  Rihanna was one of them. Lily Allen was another one. It was stupid and I have no idea why I thought this would have been a good idea.  Young people are silly.

6. John Mayer tribute tattoo.

John. John!!! Why are you so weird and have to say weird dumb things in magazines that make people hate you? why can’t we go back to those wonderful and simple times where I cried myself to sleep listening to “Room for Squares” and dreamt of marrying Leonardo DiCaprio (the Gangs of New York version, specifically)? I really wanted to tattoo one of your album logos on myself. Let’s go back to being a musical genius. Yes?

And that was a brief overview of the things I almost tattooed on my body. Let’s take a moment of silence to reflect on those who were not so lucky and chose to memorialize their love for things like Limp Bizkit and tootsie rolls in the form of tattoos. Those people deserve our sympathy.

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Live in Concert: John Mayer at Red Rocks

4 Sep

I’m completely unsure of how many times I’ve seen John Mayer live, but September 1st’s show at Red Rocks was my latest Mayer adventure. The Battle Studies tour consisted of a winter American tour, which included the Pepsi Center show in March. The set list for the March show had a much more layered feeling, while this Red Rocks show consisted of a lot of older hits that amateur Mayer fans would certainly be familiar with. These songs, “No Such Thing,” “Your Body is A Wonderland,” and “Why Georgia,” could have easily been replaced with more recent songs either from Continuum or Battle Studies. Some songs I would have loved to have heard are “Assassin,” “Friends, Lovers, or Nothing,” “I’m Gonna Find Another You,” and the ever-elusive but personal all-time favorite “St. Patrick’s Day.”

The set list from the other night consisted of these songs:

Chest Fever > Vultures
No Such Thing
Beast of Burden > Perfectly Lonely
Ain’t No Sunshine
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Bigger Than My Body
Love Soon > My Stupid Mouth > Comfortable > 3×5
Your Body is a Wonderland
Heartbreak Warfare
Voodoo Child
Who Says
Gravity
Do You Know Me
Why Georgia
Half of My Heart > Don’t Stop Believing

Encore:

Edge of Desire

I honestly think that playing only one song for an encore was a load of shit. Unless the law was forbidding that he play another song, John usually closes out with one full-band encore song and a pairing of acoustic solo songs. I’ve never seen him play ONE song at an encore. What’s up with that?

I also thought that the songs he chose to jam on were interesting, but standard. I did enjoy the “Ain’t No Sunshine” jam but could have done without “Voodoo Child”. He could have pulled out some “Covered in Rain,” but I’m sure mostly everyone in that audience would be confused by the 11 minutes of genius that would have followed.

The best part of the show was when he played what he called “rarities.” I’m not sure if I would call “Love Soon” and “Comfortable” rarities, but if you haven’t followed John since 2001 or so, you might not know any of the words, which is exactly what happened on Wednesday night. During this acoustic medley, John included “Love Soon,” and at one point, when he paused to let the crowd fill in the blank, I was literally the only person in the first ten rows or so who completed the lyric. I screamed “I’m calling it love soon,” and John raised his gorgeously tattooed left arm to point at me. “Ah!” he exclaimed, in awe of my lyrical knowledge. Thus, I was acknowledged (at least in my own crazy mind) by a rock legend in training. Even though I didn’t party on his tour bus like I did last time, this show was a welcome end to a mostly shitty summer (Is it just me or was the summer of 2010 pretty miserable?).

Overall, the Battle Studies tour was really unpredictable in terms of set list choices, but it’s also been the most solid set of performances by John’s band. John and his band are playing at a level completely off the charts. David Ryan Harris, a favorite and an original member of John’s band, joined on the summer leg, though was conspicuously absent in the winter.

John seemed especially chatty on Wednesday night, not to mention he appeared to be very grateful that anyone had shown up to hear him play at all. He thanked the crowd at length and inquired about whether we had had a good summer. Summer was a little blah this year, in my opinion. Last February, John received a lot of heat for some unsavory comments he made about Jessica Simpson and black women in Playboy. I feel as though everyone has nearly forgotten about his verbal missteps, and John’s retreat into the recesses from tabloid celebrity served him well. John is once again all about his music. His music should stand alone as a testament to his resilience as an artist. After nine years, Mayer still moves me. I can’t explain how he does it – he’s John Fucking Mayer, and that’s all I need to know.

I was lucky enough to catch John twice this year, which likely means that he’ll be doing a few special shows next year, in major cities like LA and New York. I’ll be in LA soon enough to be able to catch him if this happens. I’m also hoping for a Mayercraft Carrier 3 next year – that’s John Mayer’s 3-day cruise that consists of live acoustic shows and general hilarity. Until next time, Mr. Mayer.

On Tour: John Mayer in Denver

15 Apr

I love going to concerts, and I tend to go to more live shows than most people. I think I will be obligated to write some posts on the concerts I attend. This summer promises for some amazing concerts – a few that are coming up are La Roux, John Butler Trio, and the Mile High Music Festival.

It’s taken me forever to post about this concert – my apologies about that. I had a difficult time finding the cord that connects my camera to my laptop. Anyway, John Mayer’s March 23rd show at the Pepsi Center in Denver, though marred by an extremely inconvenient and very dangerous blizzard, was truly one of the best Mayer shows I’ve been to so far. I’m unsure of how many times I’ve seen him now – maybe 9 or 10. The 2010 winter tour focuses on Mayer’s fourth studio album, Battle Studies.

This was the setlist from the Denver show:

Heartbreak Warfare
Crossroads
Vultures
No Such Thing
Perfectly Lonely
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Assassin
Comfortable
Free Falling
Waiting on the World to Change
Half of My Heart > Dreams
Bigger Than My Body
Why Georgia

Encore:

Who Says
Gravity

I would have to say that the highlights were “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room,” simply because that has to be my favorite John Mayer song of all time, and the transition of “Half of My Heart” into Fleetwood Mac’s classic, “Dreams”.  The encore was not a surprise – “Who Says” and “Gravity” have been a staple of each show of this tour. I felt that the inclusion of songs like “Bigger Than My Body” and “Waiting on the World to Change” were meant to please fans who do not know every Mayer song, but would know the words to those radio hits. I really don’t care for the song “Perfectly Lonely,” and I’m not sure why. It’s just a little whiny for me. Some songs I would have loved to have heard are “St. Patrick’s Day” and “Wheel.” If you do not know those songs or if you’re on the fence about the musical stylings of John Mayer, those two songs will make you a believer.

I was fortunate enough to have seats in the third row, but I ended up having to go alone due to two factors: an ex-boyfriend who left me high and dry, and a massive blizzard that did not allow me to pick up my sister in Greeley. I ended up meeting two really cool girls from Fort Collins, and the three of us finagled our way onto one of John Mayer’s five tour buses, where I consumed Grey Goose that I assume is somehow provided by Columbia (John’s record label). I didn’t end up taking pictures of the inside of the bus, but it was likely one of the most luxurious tour buses in the world. The seats were upholstered in super-soft leather and flat-screen TV’s adorned every corner. The assortment of food and alcohol available made me want to live on a bus – that bus, specifically. Photos and videos of the show are posted below.

View from the 3rd Row.

Patented John Mayer guitar face.

During "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room"

"Our love was, comfortable, and, so broken in..."

This photo is almost perfect and explains why I want a boyfriend with a Japanese sleeve tattoo.

I love this picture. This is when John had his guitar laid out in front of him for a serious solo.

John Mayer’s Battle Studies: A Reason to End A Committed Relationship

11 Jan

John Mayer is partly to blame for the end of a nearly two-and-a-half year relationship. Yes, I am speaking of my relationship with a man I will refer to as Bobert* from this point on.  I thought Bobert was a great man – I likely would have said yes if he had proposed marriage and we had discussed names for our children. Little did I know that Bobert was secretly unhappy and waiting for any little excuse to pull the plug on our relationship. That reason turned out to be directly related to John Mayer. I have been a serious John mayer fan for quite a while (nearly 9 years), and Bobert was well aware of this – we even attended a John Mayer show together in the summer of 2008, and only two weeks before our breakup, Bobert went Dutch with me on a set of third row tickets for a March Mayer show.

On a cold December evening, I called my Bobert for help with completing an email for a John Mayer contest. The prize: two tickets to a secret John Mayer/VH1 show to celebrate the release of his latest album, Battle Studies, at an undisclosed location in Brooklyn.  Just hours before this fateful phone call, Bobert had declared that he missed me, was excited to see me, etc. (This was a long distance relationship.) Yet it all came to a halt due to John Mayer. You see, Bobert got annoyed with me. So annoyed, in fact, that when he asked what exactly I needed help with (I wanted to know how to put a photo in an email), he said, “You’re wasting my time.” This did not sit well with me; in fact, I responded with a hearty “Fuck you!” and hung up the phone. The next day is when everything went to hell. I’ll leave out the gory details, but I will let you know that dear Bobert threatened to cancel my phone number and rescinded a promise to help me move 2,000 miles across the country only 15 days before it was set to happen. Yes, Bobert is a bad man.

Ironically, the last remnants of that relationship are two third row tickets to John Mayer’s Winter Tour at the Pepsi Center in March. I have not yet decided whether I will sell those tickets, but keeping them will be very bittersweet. A great thanks to John Mayer for revealing the true colors of Bobert. They are dark colors indeed. Goodbye, Bobert. Hello, southern California and the possibility of non-committal sex with John Mayer.

*Name has been changed to arbitrarily protect a moron.