I Am Doing Stand Up Comedy and All of a Sudden Shit Makes Sense

9 Aug

This blog has become less of a priority for me as I have begun my stand up career.  Now that I am performing stand up and putting myself out there with the possibility of being seen by someone who matters, everything makes a lot of sense to me.  I was always a fan of stand up but I never quite thought I had it in me to actually try it until recently.  I started in January, and I try to go onstage at least seven or eight times a week.  I’ve been performing regularly at open mics and some booked shows around Los Angeles, and I now feel as though I have some purpose in life and a way to showcase my thoughts and writing to complete strangers.

What I am hoping is that over time, this blog will become a website to showcase upcoming shows and my other comedy-related activities.

Here’s a clip of me performing in the Ed Galvez Punkhouse on July 2nd (the embed code does not work on WordPress for some reason, so if anyone has a tip for this, please let me know):

http://rooftopcomedy.com/watch/DatingInLA1

Apparently People Do Not Understand What Feminism Really Is

14 Jul

There appears to be a vast divide between those who comprehend what feminism is and what it aims to do, and what some people appear to think what feminism is.  Last night I saw one of those Buzzfeed compilation lists titled “14 Women Say Why They Don’t Need Feminism”.  Never in my life has my brain twitched so badly.  Pulled from a Facebook group page called “Women Against Feminism,” each photo features a woman holding up a written reason for why she does not “need” feminism.  Talk about misunderstanding and lack of appropriate education.

Feminism is nothing more than the belief that women should have equal access to those things that all others may have access to.  This includes the right to vote, the ability to get an education, working a job with a living wage, and being able to drive.  All of these examples are a direct result of the hard work of our feminist sisters of years past.  However, there seems to be a misinterpretation of the word that associates feminism with man-hating and women somehow inhibiting the rights of men.

Here’s are some examples of posts found on the Facebook group “Women Against Feminism”:

Screen shot 2014-07-20 at 11.30.47 AM

Screen shot 2014-07-20 at 11.39.51 AM Screen shot 2014-07-20 at 11.40.24 AM

Yikes, these are all bad.  It’s amazing how some of these women think that feminism indicates some sort of non-equality.  This points to an obvious lack of education on what the concept of feminism is, and what the word means.  The truth is that if any woman takes advantage of her ability to work for a living wage, vote, or drive, she is a direct beneficiary of the work of feminism.  Feminism is nothing more than the belief that women should have access to equality and be able to experience all those rights enjoyed by men.  It is not an affront against men, and those extremists who are labeled “man-haters” are not the best representatives of feminism.  Hopefully the stigma against feminism will begin to evaporate as a new generation of women come into their own.

 

The Next Wave of the Feminist Movement and What #YesAllWomen Really Means

1 Jun

Photo Credit: Fotolia

The use of the hashtag “#YesAllWomen” is generating heated and necessary debate among social media users with regard to the recent UCSB massacre.  Elliott Rodger, the perpetrator of three stabbing deaths of his roommates, three shooting deaths of two women and one man, the serious injuries of several others, and his last act of suicide, is gaining public momentum due to his multiple YouTube videos and 140 page manifesto geared toward “retribution” against women who he felt rejected him his entire life.  Rodger felt entitled to many things, and the greatest of them was sex from beautiful women, which he was denied, in his own mind.

Rodger also specifically named one woman as the brunt of his reasoning for committing his final violent acts.  Rodger, who self-identified as an “incel,” or “involuntary celibate,” blamed his repeated rejections by women on the reasoning for his final maniac rampage.  The fact that the term “incel” exists should be infuriating enough on its own, because sex is not something that people are automatically entitled to.  This attitude of entitlement is what led Rodgers to kill, and it is quite similar to the entitlement felt by many men that all too often leads to acts of sexual harassment and assault.  Here is the truth about sex: sex is not something anyone, including men or women, has any entitlement toward.

A conversation about what rape culture really is, and how it affects the lives of all women, including your sisters, wives, girlfriends, mothers, daughters, and friends appears to be opening up in the mainstream.  However, there appear to be those who simply do not understand what the concept of “rape culture” really tries to accomplish, and one sickening article by Caroline Kitchens appearing in Time in late March called for ending “Rape Culture Hysteria”.  Ms. Kitchens’ use of the word “hysteria” to describe what she calls the outrage present on feminist blogs and other media outlets harkens to centuries past, when “hysteria” was often the go-to medical diagnosis of a woman experiencing any sort of emotional reaction.  Also formerly known as the “widow’s disease,” hysteria was once thought to be caused by retaining female sexual fluids, and in order to be cured, a woman must release them through intercourse.  “Hysteria” is not the proper term to use when discussing the cultural norms that perpetuate sexual abuse and harassment.

Kitchens misses the point and includes this quote by RAINN: “Rape is caused not by cultural factors but by the conscious decisions, of a small percentage of the community, to commit a violent crime”.  Surely, this may be true, but where did the values held by a rapist come from? Surely they were instilled by those among him.  This is a symptom of a cultural link to the values that promote sexual harassment and violence.  Although the term “rape culture” is rather jarring, it is clear that there is a sometimes invisible mode of violence set against women in this country and beyond.  Currently, there is no real conversation about misogyny and its effects on the women who are privy to it.  Misogyny runs deep through our society, and its most subtle touches may be seen in nearly every moment.

There are three distinct waves of feminism as defined by modern sociology, with the third wave referring to the period beginning in the early 1990s and lasting through the present.  Third Wave feminism incorporates queer theory and women-of-color corollaries.  Second Wave feminism focused on simply what was good or not good for women. The Third Wave maintains gender violence as one of its foci, and the reclamation of terms such as “slut” or “whore” is popular amongst third wave feminists. However, it appears that this reclamation is no longer appropriate in the face of what happened at UCSB.  In fact, there may be a backlash against sexual reclamation.  It is almost as though we are clamoring backward and saying, “Oh wait, there is actually no such thing as a slut!!”  This reconfiguring of Third Wave values may be leading to a Fourth Wave.

Let’s not forget every moment at which women are vulnerable to the stares and sexual whims of men.  Men have masturbated to me on the subway and in places that are supposed to be safe, like the library.  On one occasion I chased a man out of a college university library while simultaneously calling the police on my phone.  Someone I asked for assistance did not take what I was saying seriously enough.  This is the world we live in. A world where women remain in perpetuity as objects and men have every right to stare and please themselves as they do it.  A world where “she was asking for it”.  This needs to end now.

What the hashtag #YesAllWomen attempts to carry out is not a front against men.  True feminists do not hate men, and the term “feminist” is not a threat to masculinity.  What it means to be feminist is to believe that women have the same rights as men.  It is not a pitchfork term meant to intimidate and terrorize men.  As a new wave of feminism appears to be approaching, it is critical to realize that this wave is about setting the status quo and aiming to make the world a safer place for all women.  Acts such as those committed by Elliot Rodger, although cowardly and a shock to the country, do not need to happen again.  There is a way of changing how we treat women, and it begins with taking a hard look at how the abuse of women by men in is perpetuated in our society.

Why Tinder is the Bane of Our Society and Needs to Die

6 May

tinder-logo

Tinder is an alleged “dating” app that allows people to troll for D and P in their local area.  By “D” and “P,” surely you will know what I mean unless you are completely innocent or some type of Mormon or an Amish person who accidentally stumbled onto this blog.  (Although for the Amish that would be quite a feat. Welcome.)

Anywho, I had a very lame experience with Tinder quite recently.  To make a long story short, I have been seeing the same guy for a a pretty long period of time now, and I like him very much.  However, due to reasons beyond my control, we are not consciously exclusive in our relationship at this time. (Please spare telling me what I already know.)  As I sat on the barstool in this bar, the girl next to me started a conversation about men.  I said that I had been seeing someone.  She asked what he looked like. I obliged.  The words that next fell from her mouth left me in a stupor: “He sent me a message on Tinder.”

WTF.  This is what raced through my mind as I sat there like an idiot, looking at this guy’s face.  I am an idiot. 

Okay, so do not panic.  Do not panic.  You’re panicking.  I thought about what I should do.  Should I confront him? Should I say anything at all? First I took a shot of tequila and pretended that everything was okay.  Everything is not okay!  Think about this.

I managed to not say anything for almost 24 hours.  I consider myself to be the David Blaine of relationship self-control after achieving that feat.  We discussed and resolved the issue.  I realized that I cannot be too critical unless we are in an exclusive relationship, and really, I should be striking out on Tinder myself.

I simply downloaded Tinder to see what the fuss was about, and quite honestly, Tinder is trash.  You can spot a weirdo on there almost right away, and like almost any other online dating resource, Tinder seems to be delegated to the ultra-awkward and ultra-douchebaggy anyway.  One guy spent way too much of his energy talking about my lips.  It was really gross and showed me why he’s probably on Tinder to troll women.  Tinder is not for people who like meeting in natural settings.  Tinder is for wannabe sluts, plain and simple.

But really, what are the odds of my little encounter?  Tinder is basically pitting every single person in vast metropolitan areas against one another in a never-ending attempt to get laid.  There are over 16 million people in LA, and I ended up in one specific bar (which I frequent), sitting next to one girl (who I had never met before) and learning that this girl was hit on by a guy I was seeing.  To conclude: 1 city, 16 million people, 1 bar, 2 barstools, 2 women, 1 dick.  That is the reality of what Tinder is doing to this world.  It eliminates options before there is even the chance to meet someone in person.  Tinder is gross.

If Tinder continues to grow at the same rate, and if people continue to use the app to hook up or do whatever it is they use it for, there will be no one left. Everyone will be eliminated from dating and sex pool eligibility via Tinder.  Tinder is a Darwinist dating app.

Tinder, in its purest form, is the worst thing in American society at this time.  It is impersonal, disingenuous, and fleeting in a time at which personal connection is already dissolving.  I prefer to meet people organically and as my life unfolds.  Tinder is another way of forcing connection, and connection, as rare as it is today, is something that should come naturally.  Please, do your part, and ban Tinder.

This has been a public service announcement by Fixed Air.

…And It All Came Crashing Down

18 Apr

…And it all came crashing down

When she knew what your name was

When she knew where you lived,

When she knew you liked drum circles.

…And I was a fool for ever thinking I was the only one

The only one you thought of

When you closed your eyes at whatever hour

You find to be a decent time to finally sleep.

…And when I realized that I had been played,

That you thought you were clever,

That you thought your illusion was complete,

It all ended in thirty seconds of an exchange.

…And when you’re older and wiser

(If that ever actually happens)

You’ll suddenly realize what you had –

A good and faithful woman,

Someone who loved you so.

…But it all came crashing down

On a strange LA night,

Beneath the smog of invisible stars.

Fixed Air Liveblogs the 86th Annual Academy Awards

2 Mar

I cannot remember if I live-blogged the Oscars last year, but I decided to do it this year out of sheer respect for the great year that 2013 had in film.  The fun starts at 4 PM PST.  Please come back for live-blogging fun!!!

– Heather

86th Annual Academy Awards

5:30 PM – And it begins!  Ellen is discussing how it’s been raining here in LA.  “Thank you for your prayers!” Pretty standard LA jokes.

5:32 PM – There’s Lupita Nyong’o, looking beautiful in her gown.

5:34 PM – All of these jokes are pretty mean and Ellen is now talking about how “youth is the most important thing in the world”.

John Travolta’s face looks botoxed.

5:37 PM – J-LAW!!!!! Ellen riffs on her dress looking like a traffic cone.

5:38 PM – Jared Leto is the most beautiful person here tonight!  He and McConaughey are both wearing white suit jackets.

5:40 PM – Ellen just said that if “12 Years a Slave” doesn’t win Best Picture, then everyone might be a racist.

“And now, please welcome our first white presenter, Anne Hathaway!!”

5:43 PM – The first award of the night – Best Supporting Actor!!! Who shall win???

And the winner is Jared Leto!!!!! Much deserved for Jared Leto!

5:44 PM – “To all the dreamers watching this out there tonight…I want to say, we are here…we’re thinking of you tonight. There’s so many people that helped me get here.” – Jared Leto

5:47 PM – “It’s so tiring being a nominee…it must be exhausting.” – Jim Carrey, obviously implying that he’s never been nominated for an Oscar.

5:48 PM – A compilation of the animated films that have made an impact over time.

5:51 PM – Pharell singing his Oscar-nominated song “Happy” in that hat again. Why the hat?

5:57 PM – Best Costume Design is Catherine Martin for The Great Gatsby (She’s married to Baz Luhrmann, FYI).

6:01 PM – Best Makeup and Hair – “Dallas Buyers Club”

6:02 PM – Harrison Ford is presenting a look at the Best Picture nominees. He has a goatee for some odd reason.

6:05 PM – Channing Tatum was invited to this thing? Why? Let us never forget that he was in “Step Up”.

6:25 PM – Oh, I love this song from “Her”.  Karen O performing “The Moon Song”.

7:13 PM – They’re about to give out Best Supporting Actress!  Who will it be???

And the winner is…Lupita Nyong’o in “12 Years a Slave”.  She looks very elegant and beautiful in her long blue gown.  Love it!

7:34 PM – Pink is sining “Over the Rainbow” in a red sequin gown that is apparently supposed to resemble a ruby red slipper. I am not quite sure how this is fitting in with the rest of the show.

8:44 PM – Best Actress – And the Oscar goes to – Cate Blanchett!!! This is so wonderfully obvious!  She was amazing in “Blue Jasmine”.

8:50 PM – Best Actor in a Leading Role…and the Oscar goes to….Matthew McConaughey!!!  A much-deserved award! ‘I know my father is up there with a big pot of gumbo and a lemon meringue pie.” – How sweet.

8:55 PM – Will Smith is coming out to give the award for Best Picture.

And the Oscar goes to…

“12 Years a Slave”

 

Fixed Air’s 86th Annual Academy Award Predictions

26 Feb

It’s that time of year again – the time in which rich, privileged actors reward each other for being privileged.  The Oscars are the ultimate pat on the back, and I will not lie, i would love a pat on the back.  In the meantime, I am no one and these oscar predictions will serve as my personal foray into the self-congratulatory Hollywood we all know and love.  I will name my predicted winner and if I think someone else should win instead, they will get a shout-out.  Only the major categories will be covered here.  Here we go…

American Hustle

BEST PICTURE
“12 Years a Slave”
“American Hustle” – Will Win
“Captain Phillips”
“Dallas Buyers Club”
“Gravity”
“Her”
“Nebraska”
“Philomena”
“The Wolf of Wall Street” – Should Win

American Hustle will likely take Best PIcture tonight, although there is some speculation that the win by “12 Years a Slave” at the Independent Spirit Awards yesterday will cause an upset.  My favorite film of the year was “The Wolf of Wall Street,” which was widely misunderstood by audiences as a carefree jaunt about drugs, money, and sex, although it was so much more than that.

BEST DIRECTOR
Alfonso Cuaron, “Gravity” – Will Win
Steve McQueen, “12 Years a Slave.”
Alexander Payne, “Nebraska” – Should Win
David O. Russell, “American Hustle”
Martin Scorsese, “The Wolf of Wall Street”

Cauron won the Golden Globe for Best Director, so he is likely a lock for the Oscar.  If I had to choose, Alexander Payne deserves for the subtle and comedic performances he was able to bring out in “Nebraska”.

Dallas Buyers Club

BEST ACTOR
Christian Bale, “American Hustle”
Bruce Dern, “Nebraska”
Chiwetel Ejiofor, “12 Years a Slave”
Matthew McConaughey, “Dallas Buyers Club” – Will Win & Should Win
Leonardo DiCaprio, “The Wolf of Wall Street”

Matthew McConaughey will win the Oscar tonight.  Let’s take a moment to contemplate how far the guy who got his start as David Wooderson in “Dazed and Confused” has come.  McConaughey’s performance had everything that an Oscar-worthy performance should have – drastic weight loss (or gain, in some cases), a tragic story, and a meaningful message about perseverance  and the human spirit.

BEST ACTRESS
Amy Adams, “American Hustle”
Cate Blanchett, “Blue Jasmine” – Will Win & Should Win
Judi Dench, “Philomena”
Meryl Streep, “August: Osage County”
Sandra Bullock, “Gravity”

Cate Blanchett will win her second Oscar tonight for her turn in Woody Allen’s “Blue Jasmine”.  Her performance as the delusional and unraveling Jasmine French, who cannot admit to being broke after her late husband’s business unraveled.  Killer performance and much deserved.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Barkhad Abdi, “Captain Phillips”
Bradley Cooper, “American Hustle”
Michael Fassbender, “12 Years a Slave”
Jonah Hill, “The Wolf of Wall Street” – Should Win
Jared Leto, “Dallas Buyers Club” – Will Win

Jared Leto was amazing in Dallas Buyers Club, certainly, but I was more impressed with Jonah Hill’s performance as Donnie in martin Scorcese’s “The Wolf of Wall Street”.  His choice of wearing a fake toothy smile and displaying every cadence to a man who became sleazier and less trustworthy as his money grew are all indicators that Hill is here to stay as a strong character actor.

June Squibb - Nebraska

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Sally Hawkins, “Blue Jasmine”
Jennifer Lawrence, “American Hustle”
Lupita Nyong’o, “12 Years a Slave” – Will Win
Julia Roberts, “August: Osage County”
June Squibb, “Nebraska” – Should Win

Lupita Nyong’o is the new Hollywood It Girl, and she will take home the Oscar on Sunday. However, if I were to choose my favorite best supporting actress turn, it would be June Squibb as the ever-dissatisfied wife of Bruce Dern’s curmudgeon in “Nebraska”.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
“The Croods”
“Despicable Me 2”
“Ernest & Celestine”
“Frozen” – Will Win
“The Wind Rises”

I have not seen any of these films but all I have heard about is “Frozen” and how good it is.  That will be my choice by default.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
“Happy” from “Despicable Me 2”
“Let It Go” from “Frozen”
“The Moon Song” from “Her”
“Ordinary Love” from “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom” – Will Win

Yikes.  The Best Original Song category usually has a fair share of lame songs that do their best to pull on heart strings, but this year’s choices are especially blah.  I keep hearing about this “Let It Go” song from Frozen (performed by Idina Menzel), but if I had to choose the winner, it will probably go to U2 for “Ordinary Love”.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
“Before Midnight,” written by Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke
“Captain Phillips,” screenplay by Billy Ray
“Philomena,” screenplay by Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope
“12 Years a Slave,” screenplay by John Ridley – Will Win
“The Wolf of Wall Street,” screenplay by Terence Winter – Should Win

“12 Years a Slave” will likely win for Best Adapted Screenplay, although Terence Winter’s adaptation of “The Wolf of Wall Street” was a writing tour de force.  The screenplay for “The Wolf of Wall Street” was inspiring, but “12 Years a Slave” will win ultimately for the heaviness of the message of the film.

Her

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
“American Hustle,” written by Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell – Will Win
“Blue Jasmine,” written by Woody Allen
“Dallas Buyers Club,” written by Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack
“Her,” written by Spike Jonze – Should Win
“Nebraska,” written by Bob Nelson

Even though Spike Jonze won the Golden Globe for Best Screenplay, I do not think he will have a chance with Academy voters, who are a bit more conservative than the Hollywood Foreign Press.  Although his screenplay for “Her” was beyond relevant to our contemporary culture and displayed the very things that are going wrong as I type this, Jonze will not win the Oscar.  I predict that Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell will win for their screenplay, which was quite good as well, but less culturally relevant.

Tim Molloy Reminds Me of My Father, and for That He Should Apologize

12 Jan

Lena Dunham. Photo by Terry Richardson.

I was about ten or eleven years old when my father said what is probably one of few things I remember him saying to me during my childhood.  I was sitting at the family computer, presumably working on my homework, when he came up to me, poked me in my stomach, and said, “you gotta lose that.”  This moment emblazoned itself into the back of my mind many years ago, and at any time I experience an insecurity about my body, I trace it back to this one defining moment.

I am sure that my father thought he was being helpful.  However, what he said in that moment has become the topic of $100 per hour therapy sessions, problems in my intimate relationships with men, and the lingering thought in the back of my head that no one will ever love me because of my stomach paunch.  If anything, this is one of the moments that further caused a lack of bonding between myself and my father, someone whom I speak to on a semi-regular basis due to his living thousands of miles away from where I am now.

There’s nothing more annoying than someone who feels the need to give you their opinion in regard to your body or the bodies of others, especially when it is unsolicited.  This appears to be something done primarily by men, but women are guilty as well.  Unless someone asks your opinion, the topic of their body should be completely verboten.

When Tim Molloy of The Wrap asked a question at a panel  at the Television Critics Association including Judd Apatow and Lena Dunham, the creators of the HBO show Girls, he attempted to breach the subject of the nudity of Lena Dunham’s character, Hannah Horvath.  Here’s what Tim had to say for himself:

I don’t get the purpose of all of the nudity on the show, by you particularly, and I feel like I’m walking into a trap where you go, ‘Nobody complains about the nudity on ‘Game of Thrones,’ but I get why they are doing it… They are doing it to be salacious and, you know, titillate people. And your character is often naked just at random times for no reason.

Yikes, where to begin.  It is obvious that Molloy’s statement is ultimately irrelevant, especially when Girls is entering a third season and enough backlash regarding Lena Dunham’s choice to appear nude in her own television show already unfolded in the last two years.  Additionally, Molloy is speaking directly about Dunham in particular, and not about any other actors appearing on the show.  His comments are meant to be a direct attack on a woman whose body is not considered perfect in the traditional sense.  And god forbid that such a woman be depicted nude in any manner.

Despite Molloy’s rude comment, Dunham’s response was rather diplomatic:

Yeah. It’s because it’s a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive, I think, and I totally get it. If you are not into me, that’s your problem.

Dunham is aware of what she looks like and that she is not, nor will she ever be, a skinny Hollywood actress type.  I feel that Molloy’s question was nothing but clearcut trolling.  He knew the type of reaction that his question would garner and he obviously has little to no respect for Dunham.  Molloy’s opinion on Dunham’s body, and whether or not he wants to see it, is something he should keep to himself.  Judd Apatow reportedly later spoke with Molloy privately, letting him know that the “tenor” of his question was inappropriate, and ultimately, misogynistic.

Let’s be honest.  A lot of men should feel grateful that they are getting any sex at all.  There are countless men who feel they are entitled to be with models or women who look like models, but they are not pictures of Adonis themselves.  This hypocrisy leads to many imbalanced relationships and countless incidences of emotional and mental abuse. People also ultimately lose sight of what are important qualities in partners, such as emotional support, RESPECT, and a general sense of kindness and love.

When it comes down to it, the best method of broaching the subject of another human being’s body is to not broach the subject at all.  If someone is remotely overweight, they are completely aware.  The same goes for those who are underweight, or men who are frequenting the gym to build up their pecs and arms.  Everyone stands in front of the mirror and KNOWS what they look like.  This is not a mystery to anyone, so keep it to yourself.

Many people comment on how confident I appear in myself and with my body, but every so often my mind returns to those moments in which I was made to feel less than perfect, less than deserving.  Even the most confident of people have small insecurities, and the only logical thing is to try to be a better human and not hack open old wounds.

Because the Internet: In Defense of Childish Gambino

7 Jan

A few weeks ago, Gawker featured an essay by Kyla Marshell as part of their ongoing “True Stories” series published every Saturday morning.  Ms. Marshell’s choice of topic was glaringly irrelevant, ill-researched, and all-around unnecessary.  With the anticipation of the release of Because the Internet, the third album by actor-writer-rapper Childish Gambino, a.k.a. Donald Glover, Ms. Marshell found it an appropriate time to attack the character of Glover, calling him a “sad black boy”.

The majority of her critique of Glover is admittedly ill-informed.  Marshell notes that hip-hop is not something she knows too much about:

I don’t know much about rap, so I’m not sure who the reigning emperor of pussy and bitches (what’s the difference?) is, but whoever claims the throne, they don’t need any more subjects. Which is funny, because he should make Donald their jester.

Marshell goes on to say that she saw Glover’s picture and thought he was cute, and that’s how she eventually ended up at one of his shows.  Clearly this is a poor measurement of a rapper’s worth. Then, Ms. Marshell takes a real jab at Glover:

Donald is just so awkward, so uncomfortable in his own skin. In addition to his posture problems and unwillingness to blink is the fact that he’s so caught up on his childhood. Childish Gambino could be fudged into simpler terms to mean Babyish Baby, and that’s apt. Donald’s childhood, I glean, was very similar to mine: an ethnically black child who grew up culturally white because of the surrounding school system and neighborhood. The difference between him and me, however, is that I found something else to say besides Ow.

This seemingly endless personal attack on Glover does nothing to substantiate any legitimate claims about his music.  Instead, the focus simply becomes how “awkward” and uncomfortable” Glover appears onstage.

I am well-aware of my minimal connection to Glover, but I somehow find the need to defend him and his work.  I first saw Donald Glover live onstage in a Hammerkatz sketch performance at NYU in 2006.  I was a freshman, and he was either a senior or just graduated, and already employed by 30 Rock.  I’ve always had aspirations in comedy, which I am currently pursuing, and I was thoroughly impressed to see someone who was making a similar dream and goals a reality for himself.  To young aspiring writers, especially those in comedy, Donald Glover is a model of perseverance and hard work and where it takes you when it pays off.  Not to mention that he is one of the most gifted people around today.  A lot of people try comedy, try to write, and try to act.  And many of them fail.  the fact that Glover does all of those things professionally and on a high level of success is something to admire.

Marshell’s observation that Glover’s stage performance overflowed with nervousness and tension is nearly irrelevant.  Given that Donald Glover is a seasoned performer, primarily in sketch and improv, perhaps it is natural for him to show tension in his nascent music career.  Because the Internet is a diary of contemporary disposable culture, wrapped in pretty rhymes and inverted wordplay.  This album is the birth of a truly great rap artist, and displays much more maturity than the previous Gambino effort, Camp.  Perhaps Glover is nervous onstage for a reason; not everyone finds their way in every art form the first time.  The progression of his lyricism speaks volumes about how seriously Glover is taking his work.

Gambino’s new album is a nonstop confessional of a fast come-up and the tangled mess of love and loss that typically makes up the experience of someone in their mid to late 20’s.  “Telegraph Ave. (“Oakland” by Lloyd)” is probably my favorite track on the album.  Gambino moves between singing and rapping a la Drake, but with what feels like a more genuine sense of depth.  Gambino is a more nuanced version of Drake, less about the platinum on his wrist, and more about the feelings he gets from his big come up.  There are flourishes of humor throughout the album, and it feels as though Gambino is purposefully twisting around some of the tropes of rap and making them all his own and inherently intellectual.

On “Sweatpants,” Gambino chants “don’t be mad cause I’m doing me better than you doing you,” reminding his haters that his grind is all about him, even if he is trying to be ironic.  Gambino also displays some fun wordplay on this track: “I’ve got a penthouse on both coasts, pH balance;” “I got more tail than that PetCo, you faker than some Sweet ‘N Low”.

On the final track, the most appropriately named “Life: The Biggest Troll,”  Glover makes the most important observation of the album: “Because the internet, mistakes are forever”.  This is essentially the new motto of the millenial generation.  In an age where everything is tweeted, blogged, Instagrammed, and Facebooked to death, our past remains in this odd little capsule, and anything we say can be used against us, especially the dumb things we say. Perhaps Kyla Marshell did not get this memo.

Because the Internet: 8.5/10

Cash, Hoes, and Coke: Reconciling the Realness of The Wolf of Wall Street

28 Dec

People really hate this movie.  Martin Scorcese’s three-hour opus to money, drugs, and sex is The Wolf of Wall Street, and oh my, how people hate it.  I use the Fandango app to check on movie times at my favorite theaters, and some of the reviews written by moviegoers sum up the main reasons why people hate this movie:

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Essentially, people hate this movie because of the sex, drugs, and profanity.  Some of the anti-sex comments in these reviews are ridiculous and point to the highly puritanical views held deep within the American consciousness.  Middle America does not find amusement in the depiction of sex of any kind, even though sex is happening at all times and in all places.  Despite the nudity and depictions of threesomes, homosexual sex, and blow jobs, this movie is not simply about sex.  It’s about drugs, too.  And money.

The film follows the story of the rise and fall of Jordan Belfort, a penny stock trader who recruited a group of buffoons he knew in Queens to push crappy penny stocks on unsuspecting victims, eventually targeting the wealthiest one percent of Americans.  Although Jordan Belfort is far from a notorious financial criminal like Bernie Madoff, he certainly made some enemies at the peak of his trading scam, from the late 1980s to the early aughts, when he eventually went to prison (country club prison, natch) for a total of 22 months and received a sentence to pay $110 million in restitution.  The problem that many have with this film is the establishment of Belfort as the protagonist.  This of course stems from the assumption that the protagonist of a story must always be virtuous, which is simply not the case.  In fact, Jordan is a problematic protagonist, and the audience knows right away that his focus is money, and that he’ll go any length to get it.  We know that he’s an asshole, but guess what? He’s a likable asshole!!! This is the crux of the film, which everyone seems to have overlooked.  Not only is this film satirical, but much of its satire is found in the behaviors of Jordan himself.  This is a man so full of himself that he breaks the fourth wall to tell his own story, and what a gloriously vain story it is.  Jordan Belfort is certainly no Gordon Gekko, but, referencing that famed Clint Eastwood quote, he’s a legend in his own mind.  What Belfort is is just an ambitious blue collar kid from the Bronx, not yet knowing that swindling his clients is the only way to make real, tangible bank on Wall Street.  On his first day on Wall Street, Mark Hanna (Matthew McConaughey) provides Jordan with sleazy advice (accompanied by a Native American war chant that recurs throughout the film) to simply take money from your clients and keep it.  This is the mantra Belfort adopts, and he begins to target people who he deems to be idiots – people dumb enough to dump thousands of dollars into penny stocks that will go nowhere but down.  He is twenty-two, hungry, and willing to stop at nothing.

From Slate.com

DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort.

One of my friends found this film to be a poorly executed attempt at satire.  He found that the “choices” made by Marty and Leo were simply too much, and did not work at all.  He felt that the film glorified debauchery.  That is indeed what this film does, but the satirical aspect of what Scorcese is trying to say is easily overcome by the stunning visualizations of what money can indeed buy.  Money can buy Lamborghinis, cocaine, and hookers, in an infinite amount, and this movie contains all of that and more.

Like my friend, many are saying that Jordan is glorified throughout the film, however, there are many scenes and incidents that show how much of an asshole he really is.  The reason why the audience ends up liking him is the great irony of what society thinks of money: we hate the assholes who have it, but having it is everyone’s ultimate goal.  We all secretly want to be that kind of asshole who can fill a wastebasket with hundred dollar bills.  Jordan is both who we would never want to be and who we really want to be when we daydream of riches.  Jordan thusly represents that great paradox of contemporary society.  Conspicuous consumerism is pushed relentlessly upon Americans, even in the years following a deep recession.  Even though no one seems to have any money, and stories of loss and poverty flood the mainstream media, companies are still pushing their products, rap stars still flaunt ice and cash, and kids carry around iPads instead of books.  Capitalism is still king.

Another argument my friend makes is that none of the female characters have any depth or anything to say.  That is indeed the very point of how the women are meant to function in the film – Jordan’s wife and the other women are little more than trophies with nothing more to say or do than to spend the money their husbands earn from the work of others.  They are not meant to act as great insightful wells of knowledge.  However, Jordan’s second wife, Naomi (Margot Robbie)  appears to completely understand her role as a sexual object in Jordan’s life.  She uses her sexuality as a tool in order to get the things she wants, and she does not carry guilt about this.  Naomi embodies “pussy power” that she holds over her man, and she uses it to get whatever she wants, including those fly Gucci boots she so knowingly unzips.

As far as the drug use depicted in the film, it was hardly shocking.  Drugs are commonplace among those with money, hell, they are commonplace among those without money.  Maybe I know too much about drugs, maybe I understand all too well that women are really nothing more than tits and ass to many men, or maybe I am simply too jaded to find anything to get angry about in regard to this film.  The acting and editing was great, the script was quite good, and the message of the film is there, as long as you take your time to sift through the orgy of cocaine and hundred dollar bills left behind by Marty.  This is a film that blatantly points out the obsessively capitalist things that are morally remiss in our culture; however, in glorifying cash, hoes, and coke, Scorcese and Terrence Winter, who wrote the screenplay, are sending the message that what our culture obsesses over is not necessarily a good thing.