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Girls Demonstrates Why Sex Education is Important

1 May

Marnie entranced by the short yet profound Booth Jonathan.

This week’s episode of Lena Dunham’s Girls explored young Hannah Horvath’s plight after she learns she has HPV. What is most astonishing about this episode is not the fact that the show explores the topic of HPV to begin with, but the fact that all the main characters lack basic knowledge of what HPV is and how it’s detected in both sexes.  Thinking that she could have acquired HPV from her high school boyfriend, Hannah meets with Elijah, who is very obviously gay, though it takes her much too long to figure this out.  His telling her that the reason he was able to date her in high school because “there was a handsomeness” to her face is one of a few lines that elicited chuckles. After Hannah tells Elijah that she has HPV and feels that she may have acquired it from him, he finally educates her on the fact that HPV cannot be detected in males. No one else knew this for some reason. This is why sex education needs should be a part of school curriculum.

The other notable moment in this episode is a scene featuring Marnie (Allison Williams) and the supposedly handsome and dashing artiste, Booth Jonathan (Jorma Taccone, one-third of the Adam Sandberg comedy trio The Lonely Island).  What an awful name. Adding to the awfulness is Taccone’s delivery of the line, “I want you to know, the first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little, because I’m a man, and I know how to do things.” First off, gross. Who talks like that ever? Second, Jorma Taccone looks like he’s fifteen. I don’t get it. Can someone please explain?

This has been an unsolicited update on HBO’s Girls.

A Case for the Liberal Arts

11 Nov

Several recently published articles exploring STEM (Science, technology, engineering, and math) majors in college and their supposed “value” have truly rubbed me the wrong way. In each of these articles, the author argues that STEM majors are clearly the “best” and “most valuable” choices for young students today.  I believe that by promoting such nonsense, many young people are being wrongfully influenced to follow the dreams of others.

Many people like to mock people who chose to major in literature, history, or languages in college.  I still receive snorts from those who hear that I am a literature and history double major.  They generally turn up their noses, chortle at my life choices, and ask, “And what is it that you plan on doing with those majors?” The negative connotation that seems to be following the liberal arts as college becomes more expensive and good-paying jobs become more rare is highly unnecessary.  What people seem to forget is that not everything in this life is about making tons of money (though that does help move thing along), and while you are here, you should probably pursue something that both interests you and inspires within you the natural drive to succeed, no matter what your chosen field.

I know several peers who chose to study STEM majors in college. A few of them studied engineering, a field that seems to receive endless acclaim from those who think it is the ONLY thing to study. All of the young people I know who went on to become engineers absolutely HATE the field of work they went into.  Of course there are engineers who likely love what they chose to do, but some kids end up being miserable in such fields. Why is this? More than likely, they were trying to please their parents. This is the biggest mistake any young student could make, and should be avoided at all costs.  My parents kept telling me to be a doctor, but I knew I did not have the inclination toward science to achieve such a thing. Instead, I followed my gut, and studied the subjects I loved.

In an article titled “College Majors Matter,” author Catehrine Rampell states that student “should…be thinking about whether the specific college degree they’re considering is marketable.” But what is marketability? Aren’t creative thinking skills and an ability to read, analyze, and create valuable skills? These are things the liberal arts major learns in school, and they are a dying art form.

A New York Times commenter who goes by the name Snacktastic made the following observation about college majors:

Well, this directly reflects on how we view society, work and the value of education. There is plenty about the liberal arts that allows people to develop a certain level of cultural and intellectual understanding and critical analysis that can not only help them challenge aspects of social norms but also is transferrable to other types of work and training. It also provides the kinds of social capital that allows people to enter into critical dialogs with people in power positions, allowing for some transmission of ideas from the bottom up rather than solely from the top down IF we find that diversity among scholars is an important value.

Unfortunately, at this period in our capitalistic economy, we are saying that more and more that this critical kind of understanding should remain the provenance of the elite who can afford to enter into these types of intellectual environments and as a result, will shape intellectual thought and dialog in this country. On the other hand, the average Jill and Jack should get the message that our worth to society should be predicated solely on our ability to function and feed into capitalism without any type of reflection of the problems of dominant social values and how that functions to maintain the status quo.

It’s easy to mock liberal arts students and to laugh at people’s debts, finding them stupid. Of course, we’ll pay the price as a society, if for nothing else, we’ll continue to look at every failure, blip and inequity as evidence of someone’s personal failures (Why didn’t they major in science? Why didn’t they go to a cheaper school?) and never question what is going on in society, in that we are commodifying everything. It’ll further diminish the kinds of critical dialog in this country or the idea that there is something wrong with the citizen worker model. Nothing will ever change until we have the ability to look at how problematic this Horatio Alger idea of hyperindividualism and a slavish devotion to strict versions of capitalism is.

Another commenter, Mr. Pointy, offered the following:

This new conventional wisdom that one should only major in something potentially lucrative is bumming me out. Also, it completely contradicts my lived experience where the only millionaire I know personally was an Art History major and now directs a department of a major auction house. I was an English major and make $90K in my arts-related job. My college friend who was a Women’s Studies major runs her own business (that has nothing to do with Women’s Studies, and she is a shining example of your major not determining what you end up doing in life). Her partner who was an art major? Runs a media company. Another friend who majored in linguistics? Works for a marketing firm and leads their team in charge of naming products and makes six figures (the second highest earner in my social circle after the millionaire Art History major). I have a musician friend who has a composition degree and now works for Apple on the iTunes team analyzing music (his job has something to do with the Genius algorithim but I don’t really understand it). I also know a handful of other art students who now work for Pixar, ILM and WETA. They all make decent livings. The folks I know who have been laid-off and are currently unemployed? Lawyers and MBAs, and one scientist. So much for conventional wisdom, huh?

I suppose it’s possible that I live in some kind of bubble/alternate reality where people with “fun” degrees and creative jobs are doing well and the people who went the “practical” route are struggling but I kind of doubt it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is choosing a major based on perceived practicality is no guarantee of future success. Likewise, choosing what is considered a “fun” or frivolous major is no guarantee of failure and a life of crushing debt and disappointment. If you have a vision of where you want to go, and drive and ambition, and know how to work connections, you can make anything work. Part of me fears all this talk around “practical” degrees is part of the brainwashing of the 99% — an effort to make sure we don’t dream or create, think only in practical terms, and conceive of ourselves only as cogs in the machine with narrowly defined purposes and set tasks to perform. We train for a job, we do that job, we buy stuff and do/say/think nothing to challenge the status quo.

What should a young student learn from these comments? It’s simple. Follow your heart and your dreams, and success will surely follow.

Oh, the Humanity: Most Eligible Dallas

7 Sep

The cast of Most Eligible Dallas posing next to a giant star and a cow skull, y'all.

Bravo recently debuted a new series following the lives of several young singles in The Big D. That’s Dallas, for all of you unfamiliar with the pseudo-sexual nicknames for Texas cities. Bravo describes the show as follows:

They’re young, they’re hot, they’re single –- they’re Dallas’ Most Eligible. From beauty queens to pro-football players, this group of Texas socialites proves that everything’s bigger in Texas –- including the drama. Some are looking for true love while others have perfected the art of the one-night stand, and somehow their love lives have all crossed paths at one time or another. Dallas serves as the sexy backdrop for this jaw-dropping series that follows a group of successful friends living it up in the lone star state.

Oh boy! Where to begin!?! The show has a cast of people so wrapped up in themselves and their semi-important social lives that it’s almost too easy to make fun of them. The jokes about this show practically write themselves!

First up is Tara, a rich Texas blonde with a heart of gold. Tara is also a runaway bride, calling off a total of four engagements! Tara spends a lot of her free time rescuing dogs, and in the first episode, we see her bring home a doomed puppy named Sheniqua.  Tara also wants us to know that she lives a few blocks away from former President Bush and informs us of the power the presence of the Secret Service has over her: “when you see the Secret Service going down the street all the time, it makes you feel wither really safe, or like, al-Qaeda could be down the street.”

Another interesting subject is Drew, the show’s token gay male. In the series-opener, Drew tells his sad tale of woe as a former overweight son of a major luxury car-dealing family. Of course he was able to afford gastric bypass surgery, and he lost weight.  He also injects himself with female hormones to keep the weight off. This is interesting for someone who prides himself on being a manly kind of gay man who can talk about “fuel injection” all the livelong day. My favorite quote from Drew is not necessarily amusing but centers on his pronunciation of the word “button”: “When I need something, I press a butt-un. I need a facial? I press a butt-un. I need my car brought up? I press a butt-un.”

Perhaps the only person I sympathize with in any way on this show is Courtney, a fashionista who dreams of finding the right man for her. The only problem is that the right man for her just might be her best guy friend, Matt, another subject followed on the show.  Although Courtney claims that her feelings for Matt are purely platonic, she gets really mad when Matt brings his gaggles of hoes around. So far, the show follows this continuing issue between Courtney and Matt. Personally, they should both get over themselves and fuck already. This advice comes from personal experience.

The subjects followed on the show I did not yet mention are Neill and Glenn, a single 23-year-old mom (who appears older) and an alleged NFL punter who is quite boring and got released from the Raiders last week. Yawn.

Most Eligible Dallas airs Monday nights on Bravo. I’ll be watching!

News Flash: Good-Looking People Are Rude-Ass Bitches

16 Aug

As long as this planet exists, “science” will continue to fund “studies” that make you think “no shit”. The latest study providing us with obvious answers is an article by The Observer asking the question, “Are beautiful people ‘selfish by nature’?” According to the results of a study, “people blessed with more symmetrical facial features, which are considered more attractive, are less likely to cooperate and more likely to selfishly focus on their own interests.”

I consider John mayer to be the best looking man on the planet. But is he also a d-bag? Some evidence points to yes.

I can agree with this for a few reasons. I cannot think how many times I saw a super-hot guy I wanted to get to know but soon noticed that he was a douchebag from hell. There’s one guy in particular at my place of work who looks as though he stepped off the pages of GQ, but I soon found out from others that he has a snobby, holier-than-thou attitude that makes me no longer interested in seeing what he’s storing in his pants. Perhaps the real question that the article should pose is, “are hot people with bad attitudes one of the biggest turn-offs ever?” Survey says, fuck yes.

The theory that better-looking people think that they themselves are better and/or more deserving than their less attractive counterparts is nothing new. It is also stereotypical to assume that because someone is good-looking that they always have to be mean. From personal experience, I have to say that attractive mean people outnumber unattractive mean people by two-to-one, but it must also be understood that neither quality is mutually exclusive.  Being aware that you are attractive is one thing, but holding that over someone else’s head is quite another. I myself know that I am not anywhere near being ugly, and that I likely am considered attractive by “science,” but I really do not hope that I am perceived as mean because of this. If I am ever mean or less “cooperative,” as the article discusses, it’s probably due to someone’s bad attitude.

Very recently, a good friend of mine drunkenly sprung the following declaration upon an unsuspecting female victim: “I don’t know if you know this, but I’m hot.” How embarrassing. Perhaps the most troubling thing is that I’m friends with this person! Gross. Sorry boy, but if you are actually that hot, you probably don’t need to go around saying such poppycock.

One of the questions I want to ask is: what about people who think they’re hot (but they’re not) and subsequently go around proclaiming said hotness, all the while treating other people like shit? What can be said about those people? I suppose they are simply delusional in two dimensions, both about their looks and their sense of entitlement. However, one of the meanest people I know is also one of the least physically attractive, so perhaps that is an example of poetic justice in nature.

What have we learned today, children? There are only a few things worse than a pretty person with a poor attitude: accidentally pouring hot sauce onto an open wound, foreclosures, and the food at Applebee’s. This brings us to the next topic to be explored on Fixed Air – Bravo’s latest reality show, Most Eligible: Dallas. It’s about good-looking people who are (surprise!) rude-ass bitches. Lates.

Lesson Learned: What the Death of Ryan Dunn Taught Us

25 Jun

In case you have not yet heard, Ryan Dunn, star of Jackass and Viva La Bam, among other classic MTV offerings, died very early last Monday morning when he crashed his 2007 Porsche 911 GT3 in Pennsylvania. The passenger in his car, Zachary Hartwell, also died. The accident happened after a night of drinking by Dunn and friends at a local bar, and many are placing the blame for the accident on Dunn’s reputation as a daredevil with a disregard for self-respect or for the lives of others.

Many of the comments I heard about Dunn’s death are extremely self-serving and opportunist. There’s quite a bit of talk of how he “wasted” his entire life only to selfishly take someone down with him.  I cannot agree with this sentiment. Dunn made a living having fun with his friends, and I am quite sure that many of the young people who have decried his death probably watched Jackass a time or two.  Additionally, the fact tat Dunn’s passenger also died presents multiple issues regarding responsibility.  The passenger chose to get in the car with a driver who drank.  The likelihood of some sort of lawsuit emerging from this horrible, fiery car crash is inevitable. However, the truth is that Dunn’s demise is the fate of quite a bit of young people who disregard laws about drinking and driving.

A post on TheDirty.com (I cannot believe I am referring to that site) has a poster proclaim, “Ryan Dunn deserved to die”. Really? Does anyone ever “deserve” to die? I cannot say that I have ever thought someone “deserved” to die. I do recall a student I knew in college who was quite mean to me. He ended up dying in a horrible electrocution accident on a film set just a few months later. I remember telling my boyfriend at the time what had happened, and his only response was, “karma is a bitch.” Shocked at this statement and touched by my Catholic guilt, I went to St. Patrick’s Cathedral and lit a candle for the poor boy. Surely he did not deserve to die.

So what did we learn from Ryan Dunn’s death? Do not drink and drive – a lesson that people should know by now but sadly have not. Do not get in a car with a friend who’s been drinking. Stop them from driving. Do not drive your Porsche 130 mph on a winding road – this could surely be a mistake for anyone, sober or not.

Perhaps the most startling thing about Dunn’s death – for me, at least – is the very young age at which he died. I am always put off by hearing stories of the young dying, especially those with loved ones and friends who will live decades after their friend.  A television interview with Bam Margera at the site of the crash showed the true pain of a young death – a grown man crying profusely at the loss of his best friend, weak and defeated.  My discomfort at seeing Margera cry in turn caused me to cry. Margera will now live without his best friend – someone he considered his brother.  This is what people should consider when recalling Dunn’s demise. Through actions he chose, he left behind those who love him.

What can you do to prevent accidents like the one that killed Ryan Dunn? Make safe driving arrangements on a night of drinking. For those living in the Colorado Springs area, I recommend using the services of No DUI Colorado Springs. This is a FREE service offered at the most popular bars in Colorado Springs. Some of the bars they service are Copperhead Road, The Hatch Cover, The Mansion, Meadow Muffins, Phantom Canyon, Tony’s and Dublin House. You can visit their website at www.noduicosprings.com.

Proper Spelling, Grammar, and Punctuation: Why These Things Matter

15 Jun

Do errors in spelling, grammar or punctuation irritate you? Do said errors often cause you to formulate an opinion on a person’s character or level of education? This is an issue that persists in my day-to-day life and interactions with others. I am a snob about spelling, grammar, and punctuation, and yes, I will judge you for making consistent mistakes in your communication with me.

Nothing seems to annoy me more than the use of “text speak,” or shortened bits of language used often by serially sinful texters. I cannot stand the substitution of “u” for “you” or “r” for “are. I simply do not understand why people think this proper English. Unfortunately, this trend spills over into every aspect of communication we see in use today.

My recent foray into online dating shows a severe lack of care among adults with the way they present themselves to others. One would-be suitor sent me the charming message, “wut r u lookin for in a man, cuz u got what i need”. My profile states that I am a college graduate with an English degree. This apparently means nothing to men who are on the hunt for ass. The fact that this young man thought he could eventually remove my panties by writing such an asinine sentence (I am cringing at even calling it a “sentence”) is completely unbelievable to me. Whatever happened to one taking a sense of pride in his or her communicative abilities? What’s even worse is that many professionals use this sort of language in the workplace!

A recent article appearing in the Huffington Post declared, “Craigslist Ads with Good Grammar Get Better Response.” The only thing I could say to this conclusion: duh. Think of the effort it takes to scour Craigslist for furniture, roommates, or jobs. You would like for the ads you read to be clear, concise, and free of any errors, so as not to waste your precious earth time. However, obvious errors in spelling and grammar could change whether or not one would be inclined to answer an ad. When I see a job posting with loads of grammatical and spelling errors, I will not apply for that job. The thought of having to work with people who take so little pride in how they present themselves professionally is truly disturbing to me.

Robert Lane Greene, a contributor to The Economist interviewed by the Huffington Post, proclaimed “we judge each other’s writing as a way of saying some other person doesn’t have the kind of education we have.” I cannot lie and say that I have not made judgments on the levels of education of others based on their writing. Writing clearly and effectively is the most critical skill a person could possess, and it shocks me every time I notice someone with an obvious inattention to their spelling, grammar, or punctuation.

Perhaps I am a total snob when it comes to writing well, But I can not think of another ability with as much value in today’s world. Of course not everyone loves language and the possibilities that beautiful writing can present to an individual, but it is not much to ask for when I hope to have suitors with an ability to spell or employers who are as educated as myself. Taking pride in your writing is a baby step toward longevity and success in both your professional and private lives.

Online Dating: Who Gives A Shit?

7 May

Match.com - the bane of my existence.

The mother of one of my very best friends recently encouraged me to create my profile on both Match.com and Plenty of Fish, two very popular online dating sites. I’m not going to lie: I hate them both and I think even having a profile on either is completely disingenuous of me. I hate the idea of forcefully looking for someone with whom to start a relationship. I truly believe that all of the best people will appear randomly, in moments you will never come to expect.

I do suppose that I should date more to get a better idea of what I’d like down the road, though what exactly is an acceptable amount of dating for a woman my age? I feel as though this varies with the person and their life situation. Some women date constantly, while others only have two or three boyfriends in their entire life and then just get married or end up with a long-term partner. This latter situation mirrors some of my idols – both Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling, two leading female writers, have both spoken openly about their lack of romantic experience. Perhaps I will be one of them – somewhat mournful over my lack of romantic entanglement yet ecstatic that I will be bathing in money in the future.

Back to the issue at hand. I receive lots of attention on both sites, though it’s never really from people I would care to speak to, never mind “date”. There are lots of men who post shirtless pictures of themselves (in spite of not looking too amazing), others who send messages that say things like, “What are you up for?”, somehow thinking that I may be some sort of prostitute, others who post photographs taken sometime in the mid-90s when they were still hot, and still others who hide that they are unemployed and undereducated by claiming that their occupation is “being awesome”.

On Plenty of Fish, I receive about ten messages every day. How many of those do I actually answer? I’d say maybe one or two per week. Why is this? I suppose that I am much too picky, or perhaps I have these things people refer to as “standards”. One of my standards is proper grammar and spelling, which is something that the majority of men near my age seem to neglect entirely. My profile states that I was an English major, yet I still receive inquires in the vein of, “wuts good wit u?” I am beginning to think that there is little to no hope for women with class and college degrees.

Online dating is part of the streamlined online culture that envelopes every aspect of one’s life. We browse the internet for men just as we browse for shoes and news stories. The impersonal nature of online dating is absolutely frightening. I highly doubt that I will find the love of my life lurking on Match.com.

In spite of these recurrent setbacks, a very funny thing happened to me on Plenty of Fish. In spite of my thinking that I needed to look for someone new, someone I would give my heart to (and I already know personally) turned out to be my top compatibility match within a 50 mile radius. Well-played, computer. Well-played. I have not yet decided whether this is a joke or a sign of something greater, but in the meantime, I ask of online dating: who gives a shit?

Bad Days and Bad Blood: Why We Need to be Nice to One Another

20 Apr

What is it that makes human beings want to be cruel to one another? I recently experienced one of the worst days I’ve ever lived through in my recent memory. This was due to a combination of circumstances and coincidences that were beyond my control. However, I could not help but feel that perhaps these things happen for a reason, and allow us to view life from the perspective of someone who only knows defeat. It is only from pain that one learns that treating others well is the ideal goal.

There are common misconceptions about myself that I feel precede any sort of impression I have the ability to make. People often perceive me as rude, self-absorbed, and rather aloof. In reality, these things are not far from the truth. However, I am perfectly capable of showing my kind side. The reasoning behind my “rude,” (and somewhat bitchy) exterior stems from a childhood marred by the cruel words and actions of others. I have been teased my entire life for a few things, the most prominent among them likely being my laugh and my extreme capability to experience real emotion (i.e., I’m a fucking cry-baby). So, naturally, as time passed, I was able to begin deflecting the words and actions of others by learning to retreat into my mind, where, very clearly, I was the best person around. My teen years allowed me to develop a sense of narcissism that became my comfort. Quite naturally, this defense mechanism manifests in the form of bitchiness. And I often do not understand why someone may be offended by things I say or my general demeanor, because I have trained myself to hide that I care.

The biggest problem that comes with this defense mechanism is an inability to convince others that I am being genuine. However, I feel that I am genuine in everything that I say and do, and I do not pander to others simply to make them feel good about their lives or what have you. I am unsure of where this is heading, but there is one more thing I wanted to touch on.

I suppose there is nothing I loathe more than someone who talks badly about people behind their backs. But, of course, we all do it and for whatever reason, we will all continue to do it. I recently heard that someone said something about me behind my back that is so unbelievably rude (and likely tinged with evil) that I cannot even begin to comprehend this person’s thought process and why they think it’s okay to act rude and mean simply because you want to look cool in front of your friends.

I simply wish that there would be some way to erase hate from the world, and to force people to be honest with one another when they need to be. Obviously this will never happen and we will all continue to live miserably in the shadows of the comments of others. Life sucks. Blah, blah, blah. I am a whiny artist. A whiny artist deserving of wonderful words and treatment. And so are you (minus the whiny artist bit).

One Year Later: Hmmm, I Dated That?

5 Dec

A year ago today, my heart shattered into a million bajillion pieces, the result of an ill-planned and unexpected breakup, courtesy of my ex-boyfriend Brandon.* December 5th, 2009: quite possibly the worst day I ever lived thus far, though I now realize how dramatic that may sound.

The first thing he did was send me an indirect message that we were over. I got an email from AT&T stating that Brandon wanted me off of his account. My stomach sank. I knew what was happening. I cried in front of my coworkers at 30 Rock and then trudged to the subway to make my way back to the Village.  I was walking to a poetry reading by John Ashbery when I called him.

“Brandon, what’s going on?”

“Heather, I don’t think this is working out.”

I start gasping for air.

There was nothing I could say to stop his freight train barrage of insults. He told me that he felt like my father (WTF?) and that he didn’t “have to do shit” about helping me move. To him, someone to whom I dedicated so much of my time, effort, and love, I was now nothing. I was a peon worth little more than an indirect corporate email and a phone call I had to make on my own. And he, though I would only realize this months later, was a worthless piece of shit and a huge pussy who deleted me as a friend on Facebook seconds after getting off the phone with me.

This little stunt of Brandon’s (which came very suddenly out of the blue for me) almost ruined my last two weeks at NYU. Not only did I have to finish seven papers in that time frame in order to earn my degrees, but I also had to figure out where the fuck I was going to be living in that time. The breakup further complicated these matters by giving me an incurable case of tears, most of which would commence randomly as I wandered the streets of NYC. Brandon planned on coming to New York to help me move, but now that he revealed his true colors (dark colors indeed), he completely rescinded this offer to help me and left me high and dry. Luckily for myself (and for Brandon’s testicles), I am the sort of person who always gets shit done. I am go-getter, if you will – a certified hustler. In spite of someone’s attempt at making me feel worthless, I pulled through and finished college on a high note.

After I managed to drag myself back out west, a whole year passed. I spent the first half of it curled in the fetal position, screaming aloud every time a thought about the loser who broke my heart came to mind. 2010 was a year marked by loss, uncertainty, and off-and-on unemployment. Oh, and lots of booze.

You’re likely wondering how any vitriol for my ex still exists. I have some good reasons for that. First, and most importantly, my ex turned out to be a liar. I know for a FACT that he contacted another girl (for dating/fucking purposes) not even an hour after breaking up with me. I wish I saved the evidence, but because I am a nice person, I chose not to. Instead, I confronted the offender in person, who swiftly denied that he had broken up with me to date another girl. It is his audacity to LIE TO MY FACE that annoys me the most. This is a person I gave everything to, including my goddamn virginity, and he fucking lies to me. Second, who the fuck breaks up with someone with an AT&T email but a certified pussy? Third, anyone who breaks serious plans and promises (like helping someone move 2,000 miles across the country) is worthless.

I just stumbled upon some recent pictures of the offender. At first I was afraid to look, thinking the photos might trigger yet another cry-fest. What did I think when my jaded, lonely eyes saw his stupid, shit-eating grin? “Hmmm…I dated that?” He just looked awful to me, completely void of sex appeal and somehow looking much too tan.

I noticed that these pictures were also evidence that the offender took his girlfriend (the same girl he contacted minutes after breaking it off with me) to visit his parents in another state. What’s offensive about that? How about the fact that’s he’s been with her a lesser length of time than he had been with me at the point and time he took me to visit his parents? I do feel a bit of empathy for this girl, who does not yet know that she will one day have her heart ripped out of her chest by an evil bloodsucker. (Plus, she’s either insane or heard nothing but lies from the start – no sane person would get involved with someone just getting out of a serious 2.5 year relationship, hence I will give her the benefit of the doubt.) It appears to me that to Brandon, people (especially women), are completely interchangeable, and that is what burns the most. It’s too much to realize how little you meant to someone else when they were once everything to you.

Now that the obligatory year of mourning passed and I now have a new prospect on the horizon (a handsome, hot, funny, professional athlete prospect, to be exact), what more can be said about the dipshit that broke my heart? Nothing at all. He’s just not worth this pain anymore.

* I have decided that enough time has passed that the use of pseudonyms is now moot.

The Sexy Halloween Costume: Keeping Feminists Awake at Night

30 Oct
Sexy Ghostbuster!

Something tells me that Bill Murray would still like this.

There exists a bit of vitriol for the “sexy” costumes that now fill the Halloween landscape. Once a holiday completely dedicated to the gore-ish, All Hallow’s Eve is now a celebration of the whorish. Walk into any of those temporary Halloween stores in your local mall and you will encounter a special section of sexy costumes – sexy devils, sexy angels, sexy Dorothy, sexy cop, sexy Bob Ross…you get the idea. Halloween is a holiday for sexy times just as much as it is for scary times, and I happily choose to embrace both factions of this Halloween conundrum, in spite of being a man-hating feminist (sarcasm intended).

Feminists very much tend to hate sexy Halloween costumes. I am quite wary of several recent posts on Jezebel denouncing the meteoric rise of the sexy Halloween costume. I feel that it’s fine and dandy to want to see people be much more creative than hiking up their skirts and calling it a costume, but how is it okay to denounce women who choose to dress sexy for Halloween? Jezebel chose to invite women to post pictures of their least-sexy Halloween costumes in this post. The results are actually quite amusing – fellow Jezzies dressed as everything from Big Bird to Pat from It’s Pat to Antoine Dodson (of “Bed Intruder” fame) to The Golden Girls to a leper. That’s quite a show of creativity from great feminist minds. However, this post was also meant to tear down those women who choose to vamp it up for Halloween.

My Halloween game stepped up when I was in college in New York City – NYC is THE city for Halloween fun, and people are SERIOUS about their costumes. While in school, I dressed as a French person (very hipster-like of me, I know), Wonder Woman, and my personal favorite, Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction. Now that I am out of college, I feel that Halloween is a holiday to treasure for its partying craziness and creativity potential. My costume idea for this year stemmed from a bizarre social interaction – one which I will explain in a future post on Fixed Air. I dressed up as a dominatrix this year, which lead me to decide that very few people have the balls to do any such thing.

So did I show a little extra skin this year? Did men stop and stare a little harder? Did I break the unwritten feminist cardinal rule of NEVER dressing sexy on Halloween? Yes, yes, and yes. There is little wrong with showing one’s sexy side on a night when anything goes, and I am proud to call myself both a feminist and a sexy woman. I will fight for the sexy cops, sexy Dorothys, and sexy devils until the end of time – they have a right to wear those costumes with just as much gusto as a woman dressing as un-sexy Dwight from The Office (yes, I’ve seen this done several times over). Happy Sex-o-Ween!!!

If you’d like to see me in costume as Madame Roux (yes, I did name my dominatrix alter-ego), please click here.