News Flash: Good-Looking People Are Rude-Ass Bitches

16 Aug

As long as this planet exists, “science” will continue to fund “studies” that make you think “no shit”. The latest study providing us with obvious answers is an article by The Observer asking the question, “Are beautiful people ‘selfish by nature’?” According to the results of a study, “people blessed with more symmetrical facial features, which are considered more attractive, are less likely to cooperate and more likely to selfishly focus on their own interests.”

I consider John mayer to be the best looking man on the planet. But is he also a d-bag? Some evidence points to yes.

I can agree with this for a few reasons. I cannot think how many times I saw a super-hot guy I wanted to get to know but soon noticed that he was a douchebag from hell. There’s one guy in particular at my place of work who looks as though he stepped off the pages of GQ, but I soon found out from others that he has a snobby, holier-than-thou attitude that makes me no longer interested in seeing what he’s storing in his pants. Perhaps the real question that the article should pose is, “are hot people with bad attitudes one of the biggest turn-offs ever?” Survey says, fuck yes.

The theory that better-looking people think that they themselves are better and/or more deserving than their less attractive counterparts is nothing new. It is also stereotypical to assume that because someone is good-looking that they always have to be mean. From personal experience, I have to say that attractive mean people outnumber unattractive mean people by two-to-one, but it must also be understood that neither quality is mutually exclusive.  Being aware that you are attractive is one thing, but holding that over someone else’s head is quite another. I myself know that I am not anywhere near being ugly, and that I likely am considered attractive by “science,” but I really do not hope that I am perceived as mean because of this. If I am ever mean or less “cooperative,” as the article discusses, it’s probably due to someone’s bad attitude.

Very recently, a good friend of mine drunkenly sprung the following declaration upon an unsuspecting female victim: “I don’t know if you know this, but I’m hot.” How embarrassing. Perhaps the most troubling thing is that I’m friends with this person! Gross. Sorry boy, but if you are actually that hot, you probably don’t need to go around saying such poppycock.

One of the questions I want to ask is: what about people who think they’re hot (but they’re not) and subsequently go around proclaiming said hotness, all the while treating other people like shit? What can be said about those people? I suppose they are simply delusional in two dimensions, both about their looks and their sense of entitlement. However, one of the meanest people I know is also one of the least physically attractive, so perhaps that is an example of poetic justice in nature.

What have we learned today, children? There are only a few things worse than a pretty person with a poor attitude: accidentally pouring hot sauce onto an open wound, foreclosures, and the food at Applebee’s. This brings us to the next topic to be explored on Fixed Air – Bravo’s latest reality show, Most Eligible: Dallas. It’s about good-looking people who are (surprise!) rude-ass bitches. Lates.

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2 Responses to “News Flash: Good-Looking People Are Rude-Ass Bitches”

  1. Robert October 8, 2011 at 5:48 PM #

    Lame

    • fixedair October 10, 2011 at 11:41 PM #

      Oh David, dear sweet David. How did this happen? I’ve lost my love and my best friend.

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