Tag Archives: 82nd Annual Academy Awards

Live Blog: The 82nd Annual Academy Awards

7 Mar

They’re almost here! Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin host the 82nd Annual Academy Awards! See you back in 25 minutes, at 8:30/7:30 EST/CST.

6:30 PM: They’ve chosen to line up the nominees for Best Actor and Actress like cars at a car show. Where are the girls in bikinis?

6:31 PM: Surprise! Neil Patrick Harris! He’s going to be at every award show for the next decade.

6:38 PM: So now the opening monologue consists of Alec and Steve going back and forth with pretty lame lines. This is actually boring me right now.

6:41 PM: George Clooney = not amused.

George Clooney's "Bitch, plz" look.

6:44 PM: Penelope Cruz is presenting Best Supporting Actor. They’re choosing to show clips this year. Last year they had 5 random actors who had previously won the award come on stage. I don’t know which method of presentation I prefer.

6:45 PM: Christoph Waltz FTW. He’s so amazing.

6:56 PM: A Barbara Walters Oscar Special spoof with Fantastic Mr. Fox and Coraline. Up wins for Best Animated Film.

7:00 PM: Miley Cyrus and Amanda Seyfried present the award for Best Original Song. The winner is predictable: ‘The Weary Kind” by T Bone Burnett. What a great name.

7:12 PM: Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. are presenting Best Original Screenplay. Robert Downey Jr.: “Actors look for script with beautiful shooting locations, a phone scene with that bitch of an actreess I hate, and long dense columns of uninterrupted monologues…”

“It’s a collaboration. Between beautiful talented people and little mole people!” – RDJ

The winner: Mark Boal for The Hurt Locker

7:17 PM: The John Hughes tribute – Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick. I forgot that John Hughes had written Home Alone. What an amazing writer.

“When you grow up, your heart dies.” – Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club. So true, and so sad.

I’m sorry, Judd Nelson, but you look terrible. Better luck next time.

7:34 PM: Wait, what just won? I’m already zoning out.

Best Documentary (Short Subject): Music by Prudence

Best Short Film (Animated): Logorama

Best Short Film 9Live Action): The New Tenants

7:38 PM: Okay Stiller. You’re funny. I get it. The crazy eyes are a little funny. Stop it, though. Seriously….hahaha! Stiller, you got me. Winner for Best Makeup: Star Trek.

7:48 PM: Presentation of the award for Best Adapted Screenplay. Winner: Geoffrey Fletcher, Precious. He seems very genuine and grateful. Congrats.

7:56 PM: The presentation of Best Supporting Actress. Robin Williams steps onto the stage.

My Mom: “Where’s the guy who won last year?” Me: “Um…” Mom: “Oh, Heath Ledger!”

No surprise here: Mo’Nique for Precious

Mo'Nique accepting her Oscar

8:00 PM: Mo’Nique has such an intense speech. Dig it.

8:07 PM: Best Art Direction winner: Avatar.

8:09 PM: “Okay, but I don’t think the plural of whores is whores-es.” – Steve Martin

8:10 PM: The winner for Best Costume Design is The Young Victoria. That woman looks like she has an amazing wardrobe.

8:18 PM: A tribute to horror films? Why? Did someone die? Oh wait, everyone dies in horror films.

Hmmm….I’m not sure if I would include Edward Scissorhands, Interview with the Vampire, or Beetlejuice as “horror”.

8:23 PM: Morgan Freeman: everyone loves a pervert.

8:25 PM: Best Sound Editing: The Hurt Locker

8:27 PM: Best Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker

8:30 PM: Presentation of Inglourious Basterds. That’s my shit! Quentin, I love you.

8:35 PM: Sandra Bullock presenting Best Cinematography. Winner: Avatar. Oh no. James Cameron is starting to get really excited. He gets handsy when he’s excited.

8:37 PM: My favorite: the In Memoriam tribute to those we’ve lost in film. Musical accompaniment by James Taylor.

8:49 PM: Um….this dance routine is going on forever….

8:54 PM: Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper (Cooper is the sexier of the two) present Best Visual Effects. Winner: Avatar.

9:04 PM: Matt Damon presents the award for Best Documentary: The Cove.

9:06 PM: Go away Tyler Perry. No one likes your movies or horrible TV shows.

Best Fim Editing: The Hurt Locker. The winners are very nerdy, just like my film editor friends. At least they seem appreciative. Congrats.

9:15 PM: Quentin and Pedro onstage together? My head might explode. Here’s what my mom said about Quentin: “He looks disheveled and crazy!” I must be Quentin’s next muse. I love he.

9:25 PM: Actor in a leading role. A menagerie of actors stands onstage: Michelle Pfeiffer, Vera Farmiga, Julianne Moore, Tim Robbins, and Colin Farrell. They’re telling stories about each of the nominees.

9:32 PM: Here it is…..Best Actor in a Leading Role: Surprise, it’s Jeff Bridges!

He’s talking about Lloyd Bridges now…just as I thought. Jeff Bridges seems as though he’s a major stoner. I love him, man!

9:40 PM: Okay, Forest Whitaker is talking about how “beautiful” and “layered” Sandra Bullock’s acting is. Since when is she such a great actress?

OPRAH!!! She’s over-pronouncing every word. Typical melodramatic Oprah.

9:47 PM: Sean Penn is onstage….here we go…..the winner of Best Actress in a Leading Role is….Sandra Bullock. No surprise.

Awww, that was a nice speech.

9:52 PM: Ooh! Best Director! Will my man Quentin pull off an upset? Eh, not likely.

WOW!!!!! Kathryn Bigelow for the win!!! In your face, Cameron! In your face!

9:58 PM: ‘Please welcome Academy governor Tom Hanks.” Academy Governor!!! What is that?

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker

What an upset, what a night! Thank goodness!

Live Blog: E! Live from the Red Carpet

7 Mar

The Seacrest is in!

Come back soon for my live-blogging of E!’s “Live from the Red Carpet.” Seacrest, in!

6:00 PM EST: Seacrest, in! And it begins. Seacrest describes the “impossible dream” of winning an Oscar. In my mind, nothing is impossible! The Oscar will be mine one way or another.

6:02 PM: “We are the first stop for every movie star arriving now.” “I wonder if there will be a Busey moment.” I hope there will be a Busey moment.

6:03 PM: Sam Worthington and….Zac Efron. This is how you know that the integrity of the Academy Awards is slipping. Zac Efron.

6:43 PM: Okay, I’m back. Seacrest is with Elizabeth Banks. He asks her “Do you know this designer?” while pointing to Tom Ford. She looks perplexed. Elizabeth Banks cannot recognize Tom Ford. A cold day in Hollywood.

6:45 PM: Jay Manuel and Giuliana “I Have Obvious Issues” Rancic are discussing a poll for Best Supporting Actress. 72% of those polled think Mo’Nique will win. Duh. Who are the other nominees again?

6:51 PM: Tina fey is being forced to interact with The Seacrest. He’s asking her about Alec Baldwin.

6:57 PM: Jay Manuel thinks that Sandra Bullock’s dress is a tribute to figure skating. What….ever.

6:58 PM: Diane Kruger said that “Tarantino’s dialogue is poetry.” I would agree. Maybe he’ll win Best Original Screenplay.

6:59 PM: Ryan Seacrest just referred to Sandra Bullock as “Sandy.” Blurgh.

7:13 PM: Miley Cyrus is apparently presenting tonight. Again. Something is wrong in the world. And she’s showing off her mother’s angel wing tattoos. Very classy.

7:17 PM: The combination of a very tall woman (Kathryn Bigelow) and a very short man (Ryan Seacrest) makes the Seacrest look emasculated. Typical for him.

7:26 PM: Matt Damon! My absolute favorite! Not only because I got to meet him, but also because he is simply awesome. Too bad he won’t win tonight. Better luck next time. He’s going to play Liberace’s longtime companion. Sexxxy.

7:31 PM: Meryl Streep looks amazing in that white dress! Uh-oh. Ryan just called her “the matriarch.”

7:32 PM: …and Giuliana makes another George Clooney comment. Someone help this woman. Or George Clooney. They should help Clooney first.

7:33 PM: Jennifer Lopez, Hollywood’s least self-aware and most self-absorbed actress. Oh wait, I see gray hair in her roots!!! Is it just me, or did J.Lo’s colorist wreak some revenge?

7:38 PM: Keanu Reeves has a very patchy beard.

7:39 PM: Okay, I cannot blame Woody Harrelson for avoiding Seacrest, but I wanted to see him. He’s hot and I am not afraid to admit it.

7:41 PM: “Why can’t he be alone?” – Giuliana Rancic’s continued craziness involving innocent victim George Clooney.

7:42 PM: Robert Downey Jr., the most self-important actor of his time, is here! Thank god he’s there. Love him!

7:50 PM: Gerard Butler, forced to interact with Ryan Seacrest. I wonder if they both know that they both play for the same team.

7:52 PM: Jeff Bridges, the man of the night, has arrived. I abide.

7:58 PM: Cameron Diaz has a great dress. However, the lack of an up-do will be noted by the Fashion Police. Sorry, Cammie.

7:59 PM: Seacrest, out!!!

Some of my best-dressed picks:

Meryl Streep looking glam as eva.

Cammie D for the win.

Demi Moore. Wow.