Live Blog: The 82nd Annual Academy Awards

7 Mar

They’re almost here! Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin host the 82nd Annual Academy Awards! See you back in 25 minutes, at 8:30/7:30 EST/CST.

6:30 PM: They’ve chosen to line up the nominees for Best Actor and Actress like cars at a car show. Where are the girls in bikinis?

6:31 PM: Surprise! Neil Patrick Harris! He’s going to be at every award show for the next decade.

6:38 PM: So now the opening monologue consists of Alec and Steve going back and forth with pretty lame lines. This is actually boring me right now.

6:41 PM: George Clooney = not amused.

George Clooney's "Bitch, plz" look.

6:44 PM: Penelope Cruz is presenting Best Supporting Actor. They’re choosing to show clips this year. Last year they had 5 random actors who had previously won the award come on stage. I don’t know which method of presentation I prefer.

6:45 PM: Christoph Waltz FTW. He’s so amazing.

6:56 PM: A Barbara Walters Oscar Special spoof with Fantastic Mr. Fox and Coraline. Up wins for Best Animated Film.

7:00 PM: Miley Cyrus and Amanda Seyfried present the award for Best Original Song. The winner is predictable: ‘The Weary Kind” by T Bone Burnett. What a great name.

7:12 PM: Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. are presenting Best Original Screenplay. Robert Downey Jr.: “Actors look for script with beautiful shooting locations, a phone scene with that bitch of an actreess I hate, and long dense columns of uninterrupted monologues…”

“It’s a collaboration. Between beautiful talented people and little mole people!” – RDJ

The winner: Mark Boal for The Hurt Locker

7:17 PM: The John Hughes tribute – Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick. I forgot that John Hughes had written Home Alone. What an amazing writer.

“When you grow up, your heart dies.” – Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club. So true, and so sad.

I’m sorry, Judd Nelson, but you look terrible. Better luck next time.

7:34 PM: Wait, what just won? I’m already zoning out.

Best Documentary (Short Subject): Music by Prudence

Best Short Film (Animated): Logorama

Best Short Film 9Live Action): The New Tenants

7:38 PM: Okay Stiller. You’re funny. I get it. The crazy eyes are a little funny. Stop it, though. Seriously….hahaha! Stiller, you got me. Winner for Best Makeup: Star Trek.

7:48 PM: Presentation of the award for Best Adapted Screenplay. Winner: Geoffrey Fletcher, Precious. He seems very genuine and grateful. Congrats.

7:56 PM: The presentation of Best Supporting Actress. Robin Williams steps onto the stage.

My Mom: “Where’s the guy who won last year?” Me: “Um…” Mom: “Oh, Heath Ledger!”

No surprise here: Mo’Nique for Precious

Mo'Nique accepting her Oscar

8:00 PM: Mo’Nique has such an intense speech. Dig it.

8:07 PM: Best Art Direction winner: Avatar.

8:09 PM: “Okay, but I don’t think the plural of whores is whores-es.” – Steve Martin

8:10 PM: The winner for Best Costume Design is The Young Victoria. That woman looks like she has an amazing wardrobe.

8:18 PM: A tribute to horror films? Why? Did someone die? Oh wait, everyone dies in horror films.

Hmmm….I’m not sure if I would include Edward Scissorhands, Interview with the Vampire, or Beetlejuice as “horror”.

8:23 PM: Morgan Freeman: everyone loves a pervert.

8:25 PM: Best Sound Editing: The Hurt Locker

8:27 PM: Best Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker

8:30 PM: Presentation of Inglourious Basterds. That’s my shit! Quentin, I love you.

8:35 PM: Sandra Bullock presenting Best Cinematography. Winner: Avatar. Oh no. James Cameron is starting to get really excited. He gets handsy when he’s excited.

8:37 PM: My favorite: the In Memoriam tribute to those we’ve lost in film. Musical accompaniment by James Taylor.

8:49 PM: Um….this dance routine is going on forever….

8:54 PM: Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper (Cooper is the sexier of the two) present Best Visual Effects. Winner: Avatar.

9:04 PM: Matt Damon presents the award for Best Documentary: The Cove.

9:06 PM: Go away Tyler Perry. No one likes your movies or horrible TV shows.

Best Fim Editing: The Hurt Locker. The winners are very nerdy, just like my film editor friends. At least they seem appreciative. Congrats.

9:15 PM: Quentin and Pedro onstage together? My head might explode. Here’s what my mom said about Quentin: “He looks disheveled and crazy!” I must be Quentin’s next muse. I love he.

9:25 PM: Actor in a leading role. A menagerie of actors stands onstage: Michelle Pfeiffer, Vera Farmiga, Julianne Moore, Tim Robbins, and Colin Farrell. They’re telling stories about each of the nominees.

9:32 PM: Here it is…..Best Actor in a Leading Role: Surprise, it’s Jeff Bridges!

He’s talking about Lloyd Bridges now…just as I thought. Jeff Bridges seems as though he’s a major stoner. I love him, man!

9:40 PM: Okay, Forest Whitaker is talking about how “beautiful” and “layered” Sandra Bullock’s acting is. Since when is she such a great actress?

OPRAH!!! She’s over-pronouncing every word. Typical melodramatic Oprah.

9:47 PM: Sean Penn is onstage….here we go…..the winner of Best Actress in a Leading Role is….Sandra Bullock. No surprise.

Awww, that was a nice speech.

9:52 PM: Ooh! Best Director! Will my man Quentin pull off an upset? Eh, not likely.

WOW!!!!! Kathryn Bigelow for the win!!! In your face, Cameron! In your face!

9:58 PM: ‘Please welcome Academy governor Tom Hanks.” Academy Governor!!! What is that?

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker

What an upset, what a night! Thank goodness!

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4 Responses to “Live Blog: The 82nd Annual Academy Awards”

  1. constantineintokyo March 11, 2010 at 3:02 AM #

    I will never understand why zombie/horror movies aren’t nominated for Best Makeup. Seriously, I can put Vulcan ears on myself…where’s my award?

  2. constantineintokyo March 11, 2010 at 3:04 AM #

    And I’m not sure I would consider ‘Twilight’ or ‘New Moon’ a horror film. Though that much teen angst IS horrifying…

  3. Brooke March 11, 2010 at 2:45 PM #

    Thank you for this live blog Heather… I would also like to point out an interesting fact: “The Cove” filmmakers exposed a sushi restaurant in L.A. serving whale sushi just a week before the Academy Awards… any thoughts? http://green.yahoo.com/blog/guest_bloggers/25/cove-filmmakers-expose-l-a-restaurant-serving-whale-sushi-during-oscars.html

    • fixedair March 11, 2010 at 6:51 PM #

      I don’t really have an opinion. Except what do they call the sushi in the restaurant? Can you really order “whale sushi”? Or did they pass it off as something else?

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