Yesterday I saw the new DC Comics movie Suicide Squad. Overall, it wasn’t very good. In fact, I have a lot of problems with it. Perhaps my biggest problem after seeing the movie is that I am now faced with a dilemma that haunts me: is Jared Leto attractive? I have never been attracted to Jared Leto before. I had zero opinions on Jordan Catalano.* I saw him in Fight Club when I was twelve, but my loins only burned for Brad Pitt. I saw 30 Seconds to Mars live in 2012. I bought all of their albums and enjoyed them. But was I attracted to Jared Leto as he sang in an allegedly haunted old theater in Colorado Springs? I don’t think so. No, in fact, I know so. I have never been attracted to Jared Leto.
But yesterday, something changed. Perhaps it’s a visceral change that took place within my body, in an involuntary manner. But it finally happened. I was attracted to Jared Leto. He was in costume. He was in full-body makeup. His hair was dyed lime green. He was wearing a very strange silver “grill,” as the kids would say. He had a face tattoo that said “damaged”. There was no denying it in this moment. I was in love for two hours. I am upset that most of the Joker’s scenes were cut from the movie. I want to know more. I need to see more. I yearn, I pine, I scream inside, for this….
I forgot about this too…
Let the record show that on August 14, 2016, I, Heather Marulli, was finally attracted to Jared Leto. This is a day for the history books.
*I did, however, have very strong opinions on Heath Ledger and I probably watched 10 Things I Hate About You and A Knight’s Tale hundreds of times because he was indeed, an undeniably beautiful man. However, I did not find Ledger attractive as the Joker.
Fixed Air 