Tag Archives: Wet Wipes

If You Don’t Use Wet Wipes, Then You’re Disgusting

11 Jun

Everyone’s best friend.

I must comment on a debate that took place last week on Gawker.  John Cook came out in opposition to the use of wet wipes following bowel movements by grown adults.  This position automatically makes me assume that John Cook is a disgusting person who does not take any pride in his own cleanliness nor does he likely understand that women often use wet wipes, especially when they want to be fresh for ahem, extracurricular activities.

Really, a wet wipe is man’s best friend.  If you are not using them after pushing your digested meals out of your you-know-what, you are probably disgusting and no one wants to touch you anyway. So there. So suck it up and buy a cute little pre-packaged box of personal wipes. You need them.  Do not fool yourself into thinking that your two ply bulk toilet paper from Costco is good enough to keep things so fresh and so clean.

This message is especially important for all ladies.  Summer’s Eve and Always both make amazing feminine wipes to keep everything legit downstairs.  I’ve heard stories form guy friends about things that can go awry with ladyparts if one does not use wet wipes. Do not become a disastrous hygiene story that lingers for years. Wipe your shit! Literally and figuratively.

Team wet wipes forever.

This message is brought to you by indignation toward poor hygiene.

EDIT:  This post is primarily about using wet wipes after one takes a shit. Apparently, some feminist is upset that this post seems to be referring to women only using wet wipes. NO. Men, women and children should all use wet wipes to clean up after a movement. If you cannot understand this, then just go away.