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The Sexy Halloween Costume: Keeping Feminists Awake at Night

30 Oct
Sexy Ghostbuster!

Something tells me that Bill Murray would still like this.

There exists a bit of vitriol for the “sexy” costumes that now fill the Halloween landscape. Once a holiday completely dedicated to the gore-ish, All Hallow’s Eve is now a celebration of the whorish. Walk into any of those temporary Halloween stores in your local mall and you will encounter a special section of sexy costumes – sexy devils, sexy angels, sexy Dorothy, sexy cop, sexy Bob Ross…you get the idea. Halloween is a holiday for sexy times just as much as it is for scary times, and I happily choose to embrace both factions of this Halloween conundrum, in spite of being a man-hating feminist (sarcasm intended).

Feminists very much tend to hate sexy Halloween costumes. I am quite wary of several recent posts on Jezebel denouncing the meteoric rise of the sexy Halloween costume. I feel that it’s fine and dandy to want to see people be much more creative than hiking up their skirts and calling it a costume, but how is it okay to denounce women who choose to dress sexy for Halloween? Jezebel chose to invite women to post pictures of their least-sexy Halloween costumes in this post. The results are actually quite amusing – fellow Jezzies dressed as everything from Big Bird to Pat from It’s Pat to Antoine Dodson (of “Bed Intruder” fame) to The Golden Girls to a leper. That’s quite a show of creativity from great feminist minds. However, this post was also meant to tear down those women who choose to vamp it up for Halloween.

My Halloween game stepped up when I was in college in New York City – NYC is THE city for Halloween fun, and people are SERIOUS about their costumes. While in school, I dressed as a French person (very hipster-like of me, I know), Wonder Woman, and my personal favorite, Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction. Now that I am out of college, I feel that Halloween is a holiday to treasure for its partying craziness and creativity potential. My costume idea for this year stemmed from a bizarre social interaction – one which I will explain in a future post on Fixed Air. I dressed up as a dominatrix this year, which lead me to decide that very few people have the balls to do any such thing.

So did I show a little extra skin this year? Did men stop and stare a little harder? Did I break the unwritten feminist cardinal rule of NEVER dressing sexy on Halloween? Yes, yes, and yes. There is little wrong with showing one’s sexy side on a night when anything goes, and I am proud to call myself both a feminist and a sexy woman. I will fight for the sexy cops, sexy Dorothys, and sexy devils until the end of time – they have a right to wear those costumes with just as much gusto as a woman dressing as un-sexy Dwight from The Office (yes, I’ve seen this done several times over). Happy Sex-o-Ween!!!

If you’d like to see me in costume as Madame Roux (yes, I did name my dominatrix alter-ego), please click here.

The Duke “F*ck List”: Thoughts and Consequences

13 Oct


Duke: Home of the Blue Devil, and an endless supply of hot men.


Last week, Jezebel posted the Duke University “Fuck List,” created by student Karen Owen, in its entirety. The “Fuck List” consists of 42 Powerpoint slides complete with pictures, charts, and thorough descriptions of the sexual performance of thirteen different young men, all of whom happen to be Duke athletes. The Fuck List entertained me more than anything I have had the chance to read in recent weeks, and it shed clarity on what appears to be a continually disputed idea: are women as vigorous in their quest for sex as men, and if they are, should they be allowed that right? Of course the answer to both parts of that question is yes, and the “data collection” performed by Ms. Owen is little more than a visual representation of a common occurrence among young women and men alike – people are having sex and talking about it, and this should hardly be news.

Owen, who titled her Powerpoint “An education beyond the classroom: excelling in the realm of horizontal academics” (quite a clever title, indeed), ranked her 13 “subjects” in the following categories: physical attractiveness, size, talent, creativity, aggressiveness, entertainment, athletic ability, and bonus points (“Bonus points were given for extraneous factors, such as the presence of an Australian accent and/or professional surfing skills. Points were deducted for rudeness or being Canadian.”) Now, call me cynical, but isn’t it COMPLETELY NORMAL to either discuss these details with close friends and/or record them for future entertainment? Owen’s creation of a detailed Powerpoint presentation is no different from the sex gossip that covers college campuses – the only difference is that someone found her creation highly entertaining, and chose to forward it to other friends in a fateful email.

Now Ms. Owen is facing a slut-shaming barrage from various media outlets, including both NBC and Fox News. The treatment of the “fuck list” in the media is sensationalist, with clear aims of portraying Owen as a sex-hungry young woman with no respect for any of her sexual partners. But let us pause for a moment, and imagine, if you will, that the Duke “Fuck List” was the work of a young man. There would likely be backlash from women’s rights groups and feminist media outlets (I will include Jezebel in this category), in addition to interviews with female celebrities expressing their “anger and outrage.” Many recent TV interviews with Duke students show an amused student body, entertained at the fact that Owen was sure to include penis size comparisons and indications of lame and/or inattentive lovers. But would students (especially female students) be entertained at a ranking of tit size or blow job ability? Perhaps they would, but my judgment says no. There is a clear double standard when it comes to sexual promiscuity. Men are encouraged to fuck as many chicks as possible, while women are cautioned away from enjoying sex as they please. Women are continually discouraged from pursuing sex, and when they do, they are labeled “sluts,” “whores,” and “ho’s,” while their male counterparts receive high-fives.

The media is portraying Karen Owen as a real-life biblical harlot and one gem of a video clip comes directly from Fox News, in which Megyn Kelly offers her sage advice to young girls everywhere:

See girls? It’s that simple! Do not sleep around! It’s dirty! Of course we would be lead to believe by Fox News that Ms. Owen is a huge slut deserving of little more than the recognition that she is a slut!

Ms. Owen is a normal young woman who has been blessed with a sex life that appears to be something out of a series of Harlequin romance novels. I am firmly in the camp that feels Owen deserves at least a book deal, or perhaps some sort of sex advice show. Any woman who can enjoy sex and have a sense of humor about it is golden. She also bagged a lot of hot, athletic men, for which I give her props. If Ms. Owen were a man herself, she’d be receiving high fives from all of her male friends and sneers from women. But in this world, and according to most media outlets, Ms. Owen is little more than a disrespectful slut deserving of shame. If being a “slut” entails enjoying a healthy and fun sex life, then I’d take being a slut any day.

More Reasons to be Disappointed with Men, Including “Blue Walls”

21 Sep

Today I have several reasons to be disappointed with the opposite sex:

1. The charming existence of the article “Local bison bear all at Phi Kappa Psi’s Annual Lingerave” in the Johns Hopkins University school paper, The News-Letter. This piece of shit, written by a very spiteful young man named Greg Sgammato, insults all women with disgusting misogyny. Sgammato comments on the harmful existence of “fat chicks” and their clear intent to prevent douchebag frat boys from hooking up with their “hot friends”. Here’s a little gem from his “article,” describing the tragedies taking place at lingeraves (a combination of the words lingerie and rave, leaving endless possibility for make-believe debauchery):

In the future, one can think of at least one alteration to make; indeed, perhaps advertising a party as a “Lingerave” will bring about more bad than good. While seeing a hot chick in only her underwear is undoubtedly a treat, seeing a blimp without the welcome shield of clothing is a much worse fate for everyone at the party. A seasoned veteran should have the confidence to wait until the bedroom to see his girl without clothing; don’t subject the majority to the tyranny of the – funnily enough – enormous minority.

Hmmm, blimps, huh? Other terms Sgammato uses to describe women include: “livestock,” “elephants,” “grenades,” “bison,” and “it”. Now, I could go on and on about how Sgammato is likely an ugly man who could not even get a standard hot chick (whatever that means) to blow him if he tried, but all I really want to say is how he’s just ignorant. How could someone who holds such nasty opinions of women think that it would help his writing career to put his name on such sexist trash? More importantly, is this really how he feels about women? I weep for the day this moron ever has a daughter, because she will need therapy galore. This guy deserves to have his name associated with trash writing for at least the next few years. Oh, and as a bonus below, Jezebel found this picture of Sgammato, who is seen on the far right with fellow bad writer Javier Avitia on the left and the FEMALE editor of the Johns Hopkins News-Letter in the center. Is he winking here? Ugh.

2. The even more charming existence of a SECOND sexist piece in the SAME edition of the Johns Hopkins News-Letter, entitled, “Banging Under the Influence: The Ups and Downs” by a moron named Javier Avitia. Javier tries to argue that having sex when both parties are drunk is the best thing ever. According to the author, being drunk while fucking makes girls “slutty” and “submissive,” while men become “emboldened”. Yuck. Avitia writes:

For guys, the appeal of this is obvious: it cuts out the hassle of having to pretend to care about a relationship and the protocols of a thing called “courtship” if they want to sleep with a girl, it gives them an excuse to think with the other head, and, as many a study has shown, girls become more submissive when intoxicated while men conversely become more emboldened. So score one for the men.

The sad part about this quote is that it showcases what seems a prevalent attitude among college men – why be nice to a girl and actually care about her as a person when she has holes for your dick that feel good? That’s all we women are good for anyway. Javier’s piece is yet another reminder that women are still thought of little more than objects used at any man’s discretion. It also insults both the acts of drinking and sex, both of which are enjoyable and not necessarily mutually exclusive. Thanks Javier, for ruining drinking and sex for everyone.

3. I can’t go to work without being leered at by both customers and coworkers. I would like to go into more detail here, but I probably shouldn’t, and I would rather make the point that creepers are neither worth my time nor my energy. I will say one thing – if you are a major creeper, do not keep trying to touch a young girl’s shoulder with your creeper hand, because she will give you the stinkeye and then write about how gross you are in her nationally read blog.

4. I don’t like it when a guy gets you all hot and bothered for him and then leaves you with whatever the equivalent of blue balls for women may be (actually, I just Googled and Wikipedia mentions “blue walls” and “blue box”- how classy). I mean, if you’re telling a girl all the things you like sexually, you should maybe follow-up on that sometime in the future. Hello, you’ve got a girl who’s DTF into you – do some work, you lazy ass. I’m hot, you’re hot, let’s hit it already. And I may remind you that I am not on call for such things – I’m not a nurse or a traveling saleswoman. Please change your attitude stat.

And those are all the reasons I can think of to be disappointed in men at this very moment.