Attempting the 30 Day Shred

20 Jun

Hey there, American fatty. Having trouble buttoning your pants because you are too busy holding a Nestle Drumstick on one hand and a tub of KFC in the other? How about working out? What’s that? You don’t have enough time because you have to work three shitty jobs just to be able to afford your Nestle Drumsticks and KFC?

Americans are fat. Let’s face it. Soon we will all be wearing government-issued spandex pants and be forced to live off of only high fructose corn syrup (or “corn sugar,” as the government is trying to call it) while we are forced to labor in office chairs all day long.

For one month I will be surrendering my spandex pants, drumsticks and KFC for a little thing I like to call Jillian Michaels’s 30 Day Shred. If you are not familiar with Jillian Michaels, she used to be the trainer on NBC’s The Biggest Loser who always had contests pull her across rooms using their animal strength. She is scary. She yells. And she employs what she calls the “3-2-1” system, which uses 3 minutes of strength, 2 minutes of cardio, and 1 minute of abs. It really is supposed to work, and for 30 days, I will test it out.  I will post again at the end of 30 days to report on my progress. Wish me luck. I’m off to eat my last drumstick.

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