2010 Sucked Except for Some Select Things

It’s New Year’s Eve and an obligatory year-in-review post seems necessary. I’ll be straight up – 2010 fucking sucked. It straight up sucked for many reasons, including the following:

1. The earthquake in Haiti happened.

2. Alexander McQueen died, then every important celebrity ever continued to die – Dennis Hopper, Elizabeth Edwards, Corey Haim, JD Salinger,and even Rue McClanahan!

3. My student loans became due and Sallie Mae chose to eliminate loan consolidation (fuck you, Sallie Mae, you money-grubbing whore!)

4. The oil spill happened!

5. That other earthquake in Chile happened!

6. I spent the first half of the year in the fetal position due to a horrible breakup. Breakups fucking suck and everyone broke up this year, though the title of worst breakup easily goes to Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. Fuck you, Jesse James and your dirty, dirty penis.

7. Unemployment – I was one of those victims for months, thank goodness I now have almost too many jobs.

8. Someone almost bombed Times Square and that fucking sucked.

9. Those miners in Chile, even though they’re alive, were trapped FOREVER!

10. The liquor store by my house does not sell Korbel Rose, which is fucking lame!

Here are some things I did like in 2010:

1. The Oh Snap Flow Chart – This is my greatest discovery of 2010 (thanks to my fellow Jezzies), and I wish I could tell 2010. Oh snap, 2010, you bitch!

2. Television shows that have titles that play on the word “pawn” sounding like “porn.”  I already adore Pawn Stars,and when I heard about Hardcore Pawn, my head almost exploded.

3. Weight Loss from Depression – I finally learned that I am not the type of person to attach themselves to Ben and Jerry in times of distress, but rather one who loses weight involuntarily. Of course it is shallow to enjoy something like this when people are starving in many places, but maybe I’m just a shallow kind of gal.

4. Being single – This actually turned out okay for me this year. I don’t need no man! Truth!

5. Finally having a real job and learning something from it!

So there you have it – here’s to better times in 2011, and here’s something for you, 2010! Don’t let the door hit you on your ass, you cruel bitch!