Shutter Your Mouth Island

24 Feb

Last weekend, just like $40 million worth of American moviegoers, I wandered into my local theater to see the latest offering from my betrothed, Leonardo DiCaprio, and his betrothed, master filmmaker Martin Scorcese. Despite having ruined the film for myself well over a year ago by clicking on a fateful IMDB thread, Shutter Island was not a disappointment. The acting is solid, the visuals are very 2010, and the story is for a thinking person.

Leo hates it when someone texts in his movies.

However (yes, the dreaded “however”), I could not help but be completely annoyed by the constant talking to my right, which was accompanied by heavy breathing and coughing that came straight out of Napoleon’s typhus-ridden retreat from Russia. Why is it that people do not follow proper etiquette in movie theaters? I could rant about this for days – poor theater etiquette is my biggest pet peeve. I, and I assume most people, do not go to movies to listen to a chorus of “What just happened?”, “What did he say?”, or “Happy Birthday, Jessica!” (Aside: At a late showing of Jennifer’s Body at Village East Cinema*, a group of pubescent Long Island girls screamed “Happy Birthday, Jessica!” at midnight. There were no survivors.) We have become a nation of mouth-breathers, coughers in desperate need of a Halls cough drop, askers of annoying questions, and serial users of cell phones at the most inopportune times.

Cell phones are the biggest problem, and although the heavy breathing from the other day was unrivaled, the glow of tiny screens is visible to EVERYONE in the theater. It only takes one 13-year-old little shit with a Sidekick to ruin the experience of a movie. And who do these 13-year-olds text, anyway? I know that when I was 13 the only person I called on my cell phone was my mother. And mothers generally cannot text unless you spend a painstaking two hours explaining T9. (Which I had to do the other day.)

Enough of my white hot rage, and back to Shutter Island. SPOILER AHEAD!

One scene in particular is still bothering me. In the scene in which Teddy (my main man Leo) is interrogating the older female patient who murdered her husband, the woman asks Chuck (Mark Ruffalo) for a glass of water. Chuck obliges and returns with a full glass. The woman appears to pick up the glass, but a shot of her drinking reveals that her hand is empty and cupped around thin air. When she puts her hand down, an overhead shot of an empty water glass is shown. However, the camera then cuts to a wide shot, in which a full glass of water is seen on the table. I am unsure if any part of this could be a simple continuity error, or if everything was intentional. I spent a long time arguing with someone about the lack of a glass in the actress’ hand. If anyone noticed the anomalies of this scene, please feel free to discuss. Did Martin Scorcese make a mistake? I am likely going to see the movie a second time to decide for myself.

*In one funny distraction that occurred during a viewing of The Soloist, Bobert accidentally almost entered the theater after a bathroom break though the exit door located directly next to the screen. Polite giggles were recorded in the synapses of my mind.

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7 Responses to “Shutter Your Mouth Island”

  1. shoutabyss February 24, 2010 at 7:31 AM #

    When my wife and I watched the most recent Harry Potter movie, in the upper right corner of the theater sat a group of obnoxious and giggly teenage girls. They never shut up. About every five minutes or so one of them would cross in front of us on their way in and out of the theater. Their eyes would be fixated on their little glowing cell phone screens as they walked out the door, presumably to take some vital phone call.

    They were having such a good time laughing and giggling that I quickly surmised two facts. One, they had already seen the movie. Two, they didn’t use their own money to pay to get in. They were using the theater as a place to hang out.

    When I finally hit my tipping point I skulked up the stairs (in my wife’s version I stomped, rattling the entire theater), and hissed something along the lines that I had paid $20 American to try to hear the movie. The girls looked pretty shocked.

    Not too long after that they all walked out at the same time, en masse, holding their little cell phones in front of their faces. I guess they didn’t care much about the movie after all. They never came back.

    In the movie United 93, which was a powerful and serious film, some jerk a few rows in front of me answered his cell phone when it rang. (Mine, like always, was turned off.) He then proceeded to have a phone conversation right there. What an ass.

    In Avatar I thought we were going to have a problem. The room was full and the people were boisterous. However, once we were a few minutes into the movie, the theater was dead quiet. Everyone was really into the movie. What an odd sensation! 🙂

    And “right on!” regarding your comments about mouth breathers and coughing and such. If stuff like that could be represented using musical instruments then being inside a movie theater would be akin to going to the symphony. Fortissimo!

    • fixedair February 24, 2010 at 3:42 PM #

      Someone answered their phone in United 93? That’s horrendous. Someone did that during Precious as well. Perhaps there is something about serious movies that make people act like total assholes.

  2. shoutabyss February 24, 2010 at 4:54 PM #

    He sure did. I was amazed, dumbfounded, and quite offended. I’m actually bothered even if the phone rings, since it should have been turned off in the first place, but I’ll usually let that go if they immediately turn it off. We all make mistakes. But having a conversation during a movie in his seat? That’s pretty much why I think movie theaters need to be destroyed. 🙂

  3. theoriginalshawn February 24, 2010 at 10:06 PM #

    Yeah, I was certain I saw the empty glass too… perhaps she was overmedicated? I really can’t come up with any logical reason that would be useful in the scene. But then, there were a lot of choppy cuts throughout. Doubtless it was intentional… or maybe I’m overmedicated…

  4. B February 27, 2010 at 7:00 PM #

    Bobert?

    • fixedair February 27, 2010 at 10:13 PM #

      Ahem….yeah. Who’s B?

    • Carlynda April 11, 2014 at 6:36 PM #

      I read your poisntg and was jealous

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