Don’t Take Your Anti-Semitic Friend to A Serious Man

22 Jan

Have you seen that new Cohen Brothers movie, A Serious Man? It’s about a Jewish man suffering an existential crisis in 1967 Minnesota. All of the characters in this film are Jewish, and Larry Gopnik’s friends and family are no exception. If you know anyone harboring some sort of anti-semitic tendency, do not take them to see this movie! My movie-watching adventure is marred by ignorance:

Before the film begins, my friend is texting away on her phone (“clickety-clack, clickety-clack,” that annoying sound that touch screen phones have eliminated) when she suddenly stops and turns to me to say:

“There’s no service in here!”

My response: “Does there need to be?”

Ignorant “Friend”: “Yes! I need to send a text!”

The situation continues to worsen. I feel like a kindergarten teacher cornered by a pack of kids whining about not getting their grubby hands on a pudding pack.

A trailer for the Philip Seymour Hoffman movie Pirate Radio runs, and a song by The Who plays overhead. My friend: “Oh my gosh! That’s the song from CSI!”

The situation has worsened! We have a rogue movie talker on our hands! (The multiple personalities in my head tend to get agitated in unison.) I will spare you the worst and provide another headdesk-worthy anecdote:

A scene in which Larry’s son is running to the school bus with Hebrew lettering on the side is on the screen. My friend: “Are they in Israel?” At this point I am shifting in my seat and trying to cover the side of my face with my hand – anything to pretend as though I did not just hear that.

Going to the movies is an exercise in patience. Do not bring serial texters, talkers, or those who do not know anything about The Who. Godspeed, fellow movie-lovers. Godspeed.

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