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Two Thoughts on the Superbowl: Neither Involves Chicken Wings

5 Feb

The annual gathering of face-painted super fans watching large men bump into each other, also known as the Superbowl, is this Sunday in Miami. I have two thoughts on America’s biggest man-flesh fest:

Scott Fujita

1. I hope the Saints win. It’s not that I really know or care about stats, or that I have something against Peyton Manning, but I want the Saints to win simply due to the existence of Saints linebacker Scott Fujita.  The man has spoken in favor of abortion and gay rights, and he has a BA in political science and an MA in education. This guy is the unicorn of professional athletes. I am sure that many other prominent athletes share similar opinions, but Fujita gets points for actually opening his mouth and not being afraid to do so. Also, someone called him “a pinko communist fag from Berkeley”, and he doesn’t care. I’ve been called a pinko commie many a time, so I relate to him on a personal level. Go, Saints!!! (NY Times)

Tim Tebow

2. Tim Tebow, quarterback for the Florida Gators and avid painter of Bible scripture on his cheeks, is set to appear in two anti-abortion ads during the Superbowl. Where do I begin? First, the ads are sponsored by Focus on the Family, a Christian organization based in Colorado Springs, where I grew up. I could go on and on about Focus on the Family being a horrible, hateful organization, but that would waste my valuable time. Second, my problem is not with Tim Tebow. My problem stems from the misunderstanding Tebow seems to have about his very own “personal” connection to abortion. In 1987, a doctor advised Tim Tebow’s mother, Pam, that her fifth pregnancy carried extreme risk and was a possible threat to her life. She chose to carry Tim to full term. Let’s review: a doctor advised Mrs. Tebow of the risk associated with her pregnancy, Mrs. Tebow weighed her options, and chose to remain pregnant. Mrs. Tebow was given a choice. This is the key to a woman’s right to choose for herself what she will do to her body. However, Tim and his mother are taking a stance against the very choice that Pam Tebow had. This is hypocrisy at its most salient. Leave the pro-life stance behind at the Superbowl. The Superbowl is not meant to serve as a vessel for bigotry! It’s an American event, and I want to see neutral commercials for great American things like Doritos, Pepsi, and Cadillacs!

UPDATE: Someone attempted to leave a comment that said, and I quote: “Only anti-aboortionists know more than God.” Are you kidding me!?! Anyone who claims to be omnipotent in any way, shape, or form is insane. This comment was not approved due to hearsay.

Republicans Still Hate Gays, Everyone

3 Feb

I just saw an unbelievable poll on MSNBC. 73% of polled Republicans think that gay teachers should not be allowed to teach in public school. What a shocking figure! This number manages to cause nausea as well as enrage me. It is yet another example of the ignorance and hatred being paraded in the Republican Party as standard.

Another figure indicated that 63% of those polled thought that Barack Obama was a socialist, while only 42% of those polled believed that Obama was born in the United States!

Source: David Shuster, MSNBC, Feb. 3, 2010

State of the Union Live Blog

27 Jan

Tonight is President Obama’s first State of the Union address! Come back at 9:00 PM EST/7: 00 PM MST for more!

And that’s all from President Obama. He ended on a note of perseverance, cooperation, and immediacy. Not bad at all.

Notable quotable of the night: “We are strong, we are resilient, we are American.”


8:20 PM: Begin the chant: “USA…USA…USA…” “Let’s seize this moment!” Waves to the left, to left, then to the right, to the right.

8:18 PM: Keep the dream of this nation alive…whatever…in 20 years this will be the United States of China. I love you Obama, but stop letting Favreau add in this stuff.

8:15 PM: Obama is talking about how we’re united by “American values.” Damn straight there’s no faith in corporations! Fuck the man! Wait, the media? Why, I oughta…

8:14 PM: Yes, equal pay for women!!! Feminist causes! *head explodes*

8:13 PM: Those generals are STONE FOXES.

8:12 PM: Define “freedom”.

8:11 PM: Bioterrorism? Now the first mention of Haiti. Haiti needs help! Donate now if you already haven’t!

8:09 PM: Arm’s control treaty? Um…securing nuclear weapons within four years? Where are these alleged nuclear weapons?

8:08 PM: More benefits for military families are necessary. I concur.

8:07 PM: The war is ending! The Army general is a sad panda.

8:06 PM: My eyes are starting to hurt and I’m wondering if I need glasses. Apparently we will have all combat troops out of Iraq in the summer.

8:05 PM: July of 2011 – goal date for troop withdrawal.

8:04 PM: “I’m not interested in re-litigating the past.” “Let’s put aside the schoolyard talks about who’s tough.” Standing O!

8:03 PM: People are booing the definition of leadership. Ugh. People disgust me.

8:01 PM: Yes! Do not vote against something just because you can! How about reading all legislation before deciding? I’ve heard of many people who DO NOT READ.

7:59 PM: Ooh, a website of earmark requests? Biden better cut back on the tooth bleach. Are his teeth a federally-funded project?

7:58 PM: Touching on campaign finance reform…thoughts Jarred?

7:57 PM: Oh no…people are groaning…they miss lobbyists. Get over it!

7:56 PM: “Let’s try common sense…a novel concept.” “We face a deficit of trust.” Damn straight. I don’t trust these suits.

7:55 PM: You’re right…that is what we did for 8 years.

7:52 PM: WHAAAA? Freeze government spending for 3 years? Uh… Budget? I’m from a poor family and I’m finally not poor anymore. Why would I want to be on a budget? Please do not cut government spending on education!

7:50 PM: 8 trillion dollars? That’s a lot. Damn straight you inherited it. And George was lucky enough to inherit a surplus. It’s not your fault. It’s the “War on Terror”.

7:49 PM: “Massive fiscal hole.” Teehee, teehee.

7:48 PM: That’s true. If you think you have any better ideas, “let me know, let me know.” Communication is key.

7:47 PM: “What’s in it for me?” Good question.

7:45 PM: Yay Michelle! Tackling childhood obesity!

7:44 PM: Self-deprecating moment by Barack. Loves it! Healthcare does suck in America. Dying slowly in America is a huge burden…there’s a more specific quote from Mission Impossible but I cannot look it up right now.

7:43 PM: More affordable mortgages…why does everyone think owning a home is so “American”? Build a cabin in the woods.

7:42 PM: Too bad I finished college. What? Can I get this 10% deal on my loans? I think it’s currently 15% for an IBR plan. Does anyone know?

7:40 PM: Why is there a golf clap for education? Education is key, bitches. “In the 21st century, the best anti-poverty program around is a world-class education.” That is the truest thing he has ever said. Kill No Child Left Behind!

7:38 PM: Rahm is a robot. Rahm says hi.

7:37 PM: WHAT THE HELL??? People are booing science!?! Shut up!

7:36 PM: Hmm….an energy bill? I’m intrigued, Barry…

7:34 PM: “We gotta get it right!” “We need to encourage American innovation.” No, let’s look to Europe and steal their ideas.

7: 32 PM: “I will not accept second place for the United States of America.” We need to talk about education. Almost every country is ahead of us in writing and math performance! We’re probably in 15th or 16th place. Sad!

7:31 PM: Damn straight! Germany never waits! Nein!

7:31 PM: Tuition is more expensive than ever? *Looks over at $100,000 degrees from NYU*

7:30 PM: “I want a jobs bill on my desk without delay.” Hmmm…the Resolute Desk, I presume?

7:29 PM: I don’t know…can outsourcing really be stopped? Do I hear the first set of jeers?

7:28 PM: There we go…clean energy efficiency! You go, Glen Coco, you go!

7:27 PM: Help for small businesses, tax incentives for big businesses. I want to hear about an incentive to prevent pollution

7:25 PM: A new jobs bill! Hear, hear! *Sips my whiskey* The last one kind of did…not much?

7:23 PM: Stimulus act has helped small businesses…not my field…I will leave this up to experts to decide.

7:22 PM: Joe Biden’s teeth = All kinds of distracting white

7:20 PM: Yeah! Fees on the biggest banks! Fuck you, banks!

7:18 PM: “It begins with our economy”…one solitary clap emerges for a few beats. Obama hated the bank bailout!?! “It was about as possible as a root canal.” Dentistry jokes pull in the common man.

7:16 PM: “They share a stubborn resilience in the face of adversity.” – PURE FAVREAU

7:13 PM: One in ten Americans cannot find work… This is recession talk. “These struggles are the reason I ran for president.” “I hear about them in the letters I read each night.”

7:11 PM: AND IT BEGINS… work your magic Jon Favreau (then call me!).

7:10 PM: Biden and the slow clap. Pelosi gives her formal introduction to the President. She’s wearing a neutral lavendar.

7:05 PM: This is my favorite part, no matter who is President at the time. “Madam Speaker, the President of the United States!”

Shake hands, greet the people, Michelle lovely in purple and pearls, shot of those sitting above in the House of Representatives. Jill Biden in blue! Shaking more hands. The applause continues for some time.

Obama is wearing a RED TIE!?! What does it all mean?

7:04 PM: Ooh! Military generals! Those uniforms! Tres chic!

6:59 PM: Grammar freak: Wolf just used the phrase “an historic event”. Is that correct? I was having this conversation with someone at 2 AM last night. I’m still not sure.

6:58 PM: I’m watching on the ever-neutral CNN. I love Wolf Blitzer and his smooth voice.

Everyone is walking in, and shaking hands. There’s Attorney General Eric Holder, Sonia Sotomayor, Wolf says that everyone is entering in order of seniority.

The Average American?

23 Jan
President Barack Obama

I am writing today in response to a question put forth by Jarred Rego, host of “The Jarred Rego Show” on Colorado Springs 740 KVOR.  Today Jarred asked his listeners whether they felt that Barack Obama could relate to the “average American”.  I called in with a bevy of facts and quotes at the ready. However, my call was not answered in time and I remained on hold for upwards of twelve minutes. Due to this mishap that I suspect could be a mishandling of calls, I will reassemble my argument here. 

 Jarred, what exactly constitutes the “average” American?  On your show today you implied that Barack Obama is an elitist simply due to the location of his upbringing: Hawaii. You asked, “I’ve never been to Hawaii. Have you guys ever been to Hawaii?”  By portraying the state of Hawaii as an exotic vacation destination (which to only a certain extent, it is), you are completely marginalizing facts about Hawaii that the “average” American will remain unaware of. I feel that your argument boils down to the claim that Barack Obama is an elitist who was fed liberal-Marxist propaganda due to his educational background.  

Do you want to know about the public education system in Hawaii? Only 21% of 8th grade students are proficient in math; a similar 20% figure accounts for proficiency in reading. In 2003, Hawaii’s public elementary schools ranked 44th out of 50 states on the Nation’s Report Card. In 2009, the Hawai’i Department of Education slashed the yearly number of instructional days from 180 to 163, which is the least amount of instructional days anywhere in the U.S. You may also want to note that the poverty rate in Hawaii is 10.4%, which places the state as 27th in poverty rankings.  The per capita income of Hawaii ranks 40th in the U.S. Hawaii is not a state composed of only the wealthy.  It is also vital to note that 73% of Hawaii’s population is non-white, and many of these persons are of indigenous origin to the Hawaiian islands.  

Students in Hawaii are not receiving the best education they can, but Barack Obama had the support of a family who wished for him to succeed. He attended a private preparatory college in Hawaii.  This is the key to Barack Obama’s success. We live in a country in which your education will either lead to amazing opportunity or massive failure. Even though there are many people who are successful without a college education, the idea that a college education is integral to success in America is poisoning mainstream ideals. Barack Obama chose success.  

I feel that I can comfortably state that I can relate to the “average” American. I can also relate to Barack Obama. My maternal grandparents arrived in the U.S. in the 1930’s as children from Cuba and Puerto Rico. By no means do I come from a lengthy line of wealthy people; my grandfather worked as a longshoreman on the docks of the East River and my grandmother worked as a cleaning woman.  

I know that the success I have had so far in life is due to the sacrifice of my grandparents and parents. My father grew up in an impoverished segment of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, while my mother lived in the projects of the Bronx.  My mother dropped out of college in the 1970’s to pay for an operation that my older brother desperately needed.  

However, each of my parents performed very well in school and were able to recognize that the best future for both myself and my sister was not in the New York City public school system. I know what it feels like to have to see your parents choose between which bills to pay for the month. I know what struggling truly is. I also recognize the great fortune that has been bestowed upon me in this life. Not only do I hold two degrees from one of the greatest universities in the world, but I also have the opportunity to achieve whatever it is I choose. There are people in America who will never dream of the things I have achieved in only a short 22 years. Is my success due to my racial background? (I am 1/8th African-American, if you must know.) Is my success due to my having a uterus? Is my success due to being raised in Colorado? There is not one factor that can be pinpointed as the source of my achievement. Do not single out Barack Obama’s home state of Hawaii as the source of his success. Most importantly, do not patronize Barack Obama for being a good student.  

As Nathaniel Hawthorne once scribed, “families are always rising and falling in America.” Barack Obama happened to catch a large tide. Do not assume anything about an individual’s background or upbringing.  

I ask you this question: Do you relate to the “average” American? And who is the “average” American?

UPDATE: Jarred Rego responded in the comments below but failed to answer any of my posed questions. How convenient of him.

Break Me Off A Piece of That…Scott Brown

21 Jan

This week, Scott Brown made history by becoming the first Republican senator elected from Massachusetts in nearly forty years. He also made history in 1982 by appearing in a semi-nude centerfold in Cosmopolitan. Sassy! And check out his sweater-over-the-shoulder-beach-strut in the bottom right corner. Tres Cape Cod.    

Brown has continued his oh-so-sensual antics by announcing to the world that his daughters, Ayla and Arianna, are “available”. Jump over to Jezebel to see some genuine awkwardness ensue. It got even worse when Brown pointed out that Arianna is “definitely is not available, but Ayla is.” Hopefully this is simply a case of an embarrassing Dad, and not a big pimpin’ situation about to go wrong.    

A real query remains: should we trust a man whose wrist covers the entirety of his junk?    

Massachusetts Senator-Elect Scott Brown