Rob Gronkowski’s Pants & Other Places I Want to Be in 2013

10 Dec

It’s time for some light fare around these parts. 2012 is almost over and a lot of silly people think the world is ending in just about two weeks.  Well, it won’t. In fact, the world will likely be in existence until at least the year 3050, when the earth will effectively become uninhabitable due to excess carbon dioxide. Whew, dodged that bullet! In the mean time, let’s talk about goals for 2013. No, not New Year’s Resolutions, but a list of things and/or places that will be goals of mine in 2013. Where do I see myself next year? Here’s a sampling:

1. Las Vegas

I haven’t been to Las Vegas since I was ten years old. That’s just pathetic. I’d like to do something that needs to be left there.

2. Bruges

A few years ago I saw the movie In Bruges. Needless to say, it changed my life. I’m long overdue for a Europe trip and Bruges has some huge music festival I would like to attend.


3. Whole Foods

Last year I discovered this amazing out of the way grocery store in New York City. Have you heard of it? I need to eat healthier in 2013, and if this involves eating the stuff they pass off as health food in Whole Foods, then that works for me.

4. Rob Gronkowski’s pants

We must discuss Rob Gronkowski.  How did he get to look the way he does? Amirite? This guy can probably toss ladies around in bed like the footballs he catches ever so gracefully…

Look at that bulge.

Look at that bulge.

5. Los Angeles

I’m moving there. I have a television pilot to shoot and dreams to fulfill.

6. Blake Griffin’s pants

This is the first person whose pants I will be seeking out when I arrive in LA.

7. A Bikram Yoga Class

Time to sweat out the sins of the last year.

8. A Scary Truck Stop Somewhere in Nevada

I imagine that I will stop at one of these on my drive to LA.

9. Rihanna’s Party Yacht

I really think that Rihanna and I could be best friends. We both like designer clothes, drugs, and doin’ it. Of course I would take a position as a waitress on her yacht, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t still be besties…right?

10. Joe Biden’s Favorite Sunglass Hut Location

This man wears his sunglasses well. I want to be there when he picks out his latest pair of aviators. Also, I want to sit on his lap just like this lady.

Joe Biden Lap

From the Washington Post.

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