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Birdman</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2015-11-21T21:39:46+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2015/01/08/messages-like-these-are-why-i-deleted-my-tinder-account/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/red-flag-text-1.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Red Flag Text #1</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/red-flag-text-2.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Red Flag Text #2</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/red-flag-text-3.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Red Flag Text #3</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/red-flag-text-4.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Red Flag Text #4</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/red-flag-5.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Red Flag #5</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tinder-text-1.png</image:loc><image:title>Tinder Text #1</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tinder-text-2.png</image:loc><image:title>Tinder Text #2</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tinder-text-3.png</image:loc><image:title>Tinder Text #3</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tinder-text-4.png</image:loc><image:title>Tinder Text #4</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tinder-text-5.png</image:loc><image:title>Tinder Text #5</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2021-03-30T16:47:08+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/12/21/things-i-am-thankful-for-this-holiday-season/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/chef-poster.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Chef Poster</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/mental-illness-happy-hour.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Mental Illness Happy Hour</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-12-21T18:15:43+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/11/04/are-you-a-democrat-this-microwave-will-cost-you-more-than-its-worth/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/screen-shot-2014-11-03-at-1-58-13-am.png</image:loc><image:title>Screen shot 2014-11-03 at 1.58.13 AM</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-11-04T22:48:42+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/10/26/on-depression-its-not-a-choice/</loc><lastmod>2014-11-04T20:55:46+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/09/21/listen-to-my-interview-on-nick-has-a-poolhouse/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/nick-has-a-poolhouse-photo.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Nick Has A Poolhouse Photo</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-09-21T16:09:26+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/09/20/dating-in-2014-is-the-worst-ever/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/as-if-clueless.gif</image:loc><image:title>As if! Clueless</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-09-26T07:07:40+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/08/22/robin-williams-the-pain-of-laughter/</loc><lastmod>2014-08-23T01:21:40+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/08/09/i-am-doing-stand-up-comedy-and-all-of-a-sudden-shit-makes-sense/</loc><lastmod>2014-08-13T03:57:40+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/07/14/apparently-people-do-not-understand-what-feminism-really-is/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/screen-shot-2014-07-20-at-11-40-24-am.png</image:loc><image:title>Screen shot 2014-07-20 at 11.40.24 AM</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/screen-shot-2014-07-20-at-11-39-51-am.png</image:loc><image:title>Screen shot 2014-07-20 at 11.39.51 AM</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/screen-shot-2014-07-20-at-11-30-47-am.png</image:loc><image:title>Screen shot 2014-07-20 at 11.30.47 AM</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-08-13T04:01:32+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/06/01/the-next-wave-of-the-feminist-movement-and-what-yesallwomen-really-means/</loc><lastmod>2014-06-02T14:25:16+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/05/06/why-tinder-is-the-bane-of-our-society-and-needs-to-die/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/tinder-logo.jpg</image:loc><image:title>tinder-logo</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-09-04T22:41:48+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/04/18/and-it-all-came-crashing-down/</loc><lastmod>2014-04-18T10:04:52+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/03/02/fixed-air-liveblogs-the-86th-annual-academy-awards/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/86th-annual-academy-awards.jpg</image:loc><image:title>86th Annual Academy Awards</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-03-03T04:59:02+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/02/26/fixed-airs-86th-annual-academy-award-predictions/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/june-squibb-nebraska.jpg</image:loc><image:title>June Squibb - Nebraska</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/her.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Her</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/dallas-buyers-club.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Dallas Buyers Club</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/american-hustle.jpg</image:loc><image:title>American Hustle</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-03-02T21:49:50+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/01/12/tim-molloy-reminds-me-of-my-father-and-for-that-he-should-apologize/</loc><lastmod>2014-01-12T21:39:57+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2014/01/07/because-the-internet-in-defense-of-childish-gambino/</loc><lastmod>2014-08-17T04:32:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/12/28/cash-hoes-and-coke-reconciling-the-realness-of-the-wolf-of-wall-street/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/photo-3.png</image:loc><image:title>photo 3</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/photo-2.png</image:loc><image:title>photo 2</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/photo-1.png</image:loc><image:title>photo 1</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-01-19T06:26:55+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/11/17/rebecca-martinson-is-writing-crap-for-vice-words-might-as-well-die/</loc><lastmod>2013-11-18T00:54:04+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/10/12/oh-so-you-got-dumped-get-over-it/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/mad-as-hell.gif</image:loc><image:title>Mad As Hell</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2013-10-13T00:43:40+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/10/08/twitter-bios-are-utter-crap-and-we-should-stop-the-madness/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/screen-shot-2013-10-08-at-8-31-12-pm.png</image:loc><image:title>Screen shot 2013-10-08 at 8.31.12 PM</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2013-10-09T13:39:52+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/09/17/una-noche-lost-dreams-of-havanas-youth/</loc><lastmod>2013-09-24T04:05:27+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/09/01/the-hardest-thing-ive-ever-done-saying-goodbye-to-my-best-friend/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/img_1783.jpg</image:loc><image:caption>I'll love him forever.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/img_1247.jpg</image:loc><image:caption>My favorite picture of Dave - tebowing at the Pueblo Riverwalk. </image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-09-02T05:12:10+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/08/23/is-nyu-worth-the-high-price-only-for-certain-people/</loc><lastmod>2013-08-24T07:03:06+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/08/08/everyone-is-a-self-absorbed-asshat/</loc><lastmod>2013-08-08T18:06:39+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/07/07/my-blog-is-being-neglected-due-to-my-texas-holdem-habit/</loc><lastmod>2013-07-07T19:51:07+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/06/11/if-you-dont-use-wet-wipes-then-youre-disgusting/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/ca13b-073241.jpg</image:loc><image:title>ca13b-073241</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-01-12T22:31:15+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/04/29/ray-js-i-hit-it-first-an-analysis-of-the-worst-thing-ever-created/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ray-j-i-hit-it-first.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Ray J's "I Hit It First"</image:title><image:caption>This album cover. Blah.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-04-30T04:24:43+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/03/27/is-jon-hamms-penis-the-greatest-troll-in-the-history-of-trolling/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/hammnuts.jpg</image:loc><image:title>hammnuts</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/jon-hamm-rs.jpg</image:loc><image:caption>Jon Hamm on the cover of Rolling Stone.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-03-28T01:31:45+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/03/10/work-ethic-what-is-that-asks-every-self-absorbed-person-in-their-20s/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/screen-shot-2013-03-10-at-5-48-07-pm.png</image:loc><image:title>from The New York Times</image:title><image:caption>Casey McIntyre wears a world of struggle on her porcelain face.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-03-29T11:23:05+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/02/24/fixed-air-live-blogs-the-85th-annual-academy-awards/</loc><lastmod>2013-02-25T07:25:47+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/02/10/things-that-will-break-your-heart-chris-arnades-faces-of-addiction/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/prince.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Photo by Chris Arnade</image:title><image:caption>Prince spends his time salvaging scrap metal.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/egypt.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Photo by Chris Arnade</image:title><image:caption>Egypt, a longtime victim of men.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/sonya.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Photo: Chris Arnade</image:title><image:caption>Sonya, brought to the edge of addiction by a man named Erik.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-06-09T18:57:30+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/01/31/let-us-discuss-los-angeles/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/view-from-lacma.jpg</image:loc><image:title>View from LACMA</image:title><image:caption>The view of Hollywood Hills from the LACMA.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/red-o-birthday-dinner.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Red O Birthday Dinner</image:title><image:caption>Here's me at Red O on ,y birthday with a phallic-shaped bottle of tequila.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/venice-beach.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Venice Beach</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/sunset.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Sunset</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2013-02-01T14:33:50+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2013/01/08/things-i-almost-tattooed-on-my-body-thankfully-i-did-not/</loc><lastmod>2013-01-08T15:08:19+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/12/27/django-unchained-i-like-the-way-you-die-boy/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/leonardo-django-unchained.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DJANGO UNCHAINED</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2012-12-27T22:52:35+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/12/23/youre-the-best-damn-liar-ive-ever-met/</loc><lastmod>2012-12-23T09:42:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/12/10/rob-gronkowskis-pants-other-places-i-want-to-be-in-2013/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/bruges.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Bruges</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/joe-biden-lap.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Joe Biden Lap</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/grokowski-underwear.png</image:loc><image:title>Rob Gronkowski</image:title><image:caption>Look at that bulge.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2012-12-11T03:55:04+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/11/22/people-complaining-about-working-on-thanksgivingblack-friday-need-some-cheese-with-their-wine/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/screen-shot-2012-11-22-at-11-55-23-am.png</image:loc><image:title>Screen shot 2012-11-22 at 11.55.23 AM</image:title><image:caption>Change.org Petition</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2012-11-23T23:52:46+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/10/30/the-elephant-in-the-nation-why-people-are-not-voting-for-barack-obama/</loc><lastmod>2012-11-21T00:38:30+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/09/28/the-master/</loc><lastmod>2012-10-30T08:49:35+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/09/05/paul-ryan-says-he-climbed-40-fourteeners/</loc><lastmod>2012-10-10T05:56:31+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/10/10/book-deals-are-like-penises-i-dont-have-one-and-that-makes-me-sad-sometimes/</loc><lastmod>2012-10-10T05:50:24+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/11/11/this-explains-my-social-life/</loc><lastmod>2012-08-27T08:23:26+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/08/25/oxymorons-in-the-year-2012-young-republican/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/smith-closing_redacted.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Smith Closing</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/smith-status_redacted.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Facebook Status</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2012-08-25T14:58:03+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/08/02/ryan-lochte-damn-that-boy-is-fine-like-a-ticket-on-the-dash/</loc><lastmod>2015-08-16T18:42:09+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/02/26/oscar-predictions-2012-a-very-boring-show-indeed/</loc><lastmod>2012-07-27T07:10:43+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/07/25/please-donate-to-support-caleb-medley/</loc><lastmod>2012-07-26T03:23:57+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/07/25/the-worst-proposal-ever/</loc><lastmod>2012-07-26T02:22:07+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/06/24/the-newsroom-aaron-sorkin-forgets-what-year-it-is/</loc><lastmod>2012-06-26T03:10:51+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/06/24/wildfire-on-the-edge-of-colorado-springs/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/waldo-canyon-2.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Waldo Canyon 2</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/waldo-canyon.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Waldo Canyon</image:title><image:caption>Wildfire burning in Waldo Canyon, on the edge of Colorado Springs.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2012-06-27T18:03:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/06/20/attempting-the-30-day-shred/</loc><lastmod>2012-06-20T07:09:07+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/05/23/a-trailer-that-will-make-you-crap-your-pants-with-joy/</loc><lastmod>2012-05-23T05:50:57+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/05/01/girls-demonstrates-why-sex-education-is-important/</loc><lastmod>2012-05-20T22:52:57+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/04/29/mitt-romney-gives-us-young-people-valuable-advice/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/romneycare-4-all.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Mitt Romney Gives Us Young People Valuable Advice</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2012-04-29T07:37:12+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/04/16/hbos-new-show-girls-is-a-little-bit-irksome/</loc><lastmod>2012-04-17T06:29:36+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/04/04/mad-men-betty-francis-gets-fat/</loc><lastmod>2012-04-05T03:33:24+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2012/02/08/eli-manning-makes-tom-brady-his-bitch-again/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/bradyintro2.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Tom Brady Intro Photo 2</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2012-02-09T04:44:00+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/12/15/ranking-nfl-quarterbacks-by-hotness/</loc><lastmod>2012-12-23T00:44:42+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/11/11/a-case-for-the-liberal-arts/</loc><lastmod>2011-11-25T21:03:12+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/10/10/love-of-mine/</loc><lastmod>2011-10-11T04:25:49+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/10/05/everbody-dies-even-steve-jobs/</loc><lastmod>2011-10-08T23:07:59+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/09/07/oh-the-humanity-most-eligible-dallas/</loc><lastmod>2012-02-08T11:58:34+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/08/16/news-flash-good-looking-people-are-rude-ass-bitches/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/john252bmayer252bmayer1_vss.jpg</image:loc><image:title>News Flash: Good-Looking People Are Rude-Ass Bitches</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2011-10-11T04:41:59+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/07/31/amy-winehouse-the-poeticism-of-the-27-club/</loc><lastmod>2011-08-01T00:26:02+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/06/25/lesson-learned-what-the-death-of-ryan-dunn-taught-us/</loc><lastmod>2011-07-01T20:59:33+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/06/15/proper-spelling-grammar-and-punctuation-why-these-things-matter/</loc><lastmod>2011-06-16T19:50:45+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/05/31/tlcs-extreme-couponing-i-dont-get-it/</loc><lastmod>2011-06-02T19:12:13+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/05/27/get-your-underthings-right-the-stretch-lace-thong/</loc><lastmod>2011-05-28T04:42:27+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/04/15/on-tour-john-mayer-in-denver-2/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/dsc03032.jpg</image:loc><image:title>John Mayer in Denver</image:title><image:caption>This photo is almost perfectly lit and explains why I want a boyfriend with a Japanese sleeve tattoo.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/dsc03053.jpg</image:loc><image:title>John Mayer in Denver</image:title><image:caption>I love this picture. This is when John had his guitar laid out in front of him for a serious solo. I have video, too, but I haven't figured out how to upload it yet.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/dsc03046.jpg</image:loc><image:title>John Mayer in Denver</image:title><image:caption>"Our love was, comfortable, and, so broken in..."</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/dsc03013.jpg</image:loc><image:title>John Mayer in Denver</image:title><image:caption>During "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room"</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/dsc03001.jpg</image:loc><image:title>John Mayer in Denver</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/dsc02994.jpg</image:loc><image:title>John Mayer in Denver</image:title><image:caption>View from the 3rd Row.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2011-05-18T07:07:12+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/05/07/online-dating-who-gives-a-shit/</loc><lastmod>2011-05-07T19:14:29+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/04/20/bad-days-and-bad-blood-why-we-need-to-be-nice-to-one-another/</loc><lastmod>2011-04-22T14:55:02+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/04/21/bad-days-and-bad-blood-find-that-commenter/</loc><lastmod>2011-04-22T16:36:24+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/03/22/disappointing-celebrity-penises-throughout-history/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/daniel-radcliffe.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Disappointing Celebrity Penises Throughout History</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/brad2bpitt2bno2bshirt.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Disappointing Celebrity Penises Throughout History</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2011-04-15T19:30:56+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/02/27/live-blogging-the-academy-awards/</loc><lastmod>2012-12-07T19:10:48+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/02/05/if-you-ever-want-to-touch-me-sexually-you-must-have-these-three-things-in-your-wallet/</loc><lastmod>2015-09-12T02:54:07+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/01/21/no-strings-attached-and-friends-with-benefits-are-exactly-the-same-movie-and-i-want-to-see-them-both/</loc><lastmod>2014-03-10T11:43:25+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2011/01/10/i-wish-i-thought-of-this-first-bangable-dudes-in-history/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/jfk2bhot.jpg</image:loc><image:title>I Wish I Thought of This First: "Bangable Dudes in History"</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2011-04-19T17:19:00+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/12/05/one-year-later-hmmm-i-dated-that/</loc><lastmod>2011-01-02T06:01:43+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/12/31/2010-sucked-except-for-some-select-things/</loc><lastmod>2011-01-01T20:43:25+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/12/17/youre-a-whore-god-forbid-women-enjoy-sex/</loc><lastmod>2011-01-01T15:23:42+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/11/28/all-hail-nicki-minaj/</loc><lastmod>2010-11-28T21:39:27+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/09/04/live-in-concert-john-mayer-at-red-rocks/</loc><lastmod>2010-11-19T06:32:47+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/11/17/ryan-reynolds-really-okay-people-magazine/</loc><lastmod>2010-11-23T22:29:47+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/01/30/learn-something-new-today-diastema/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/lara-stone.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Lara Stone</image:title><image:caption>Lara Stone and her sexy diastema</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2012-08-07T18:17:25+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/10/30/the-sexy-halloween-costume/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/100_08791.jpg</image:loc><image:title>100_0879</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/100_0879.jpg</image:loc><image:title>100_0879</image:title><image:caption>Madame Roux wishes you a Happy Halloween!</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2011-02-21T21:31:29+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/10/21/cash-cars-and-hos-how-a-feminist-can-love-hip-hop/</loc><lastmod>2010-10-27T21:37:58+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/10/13/the-duke-fck-list-thoughts-and-consequences/</loc><lastmod>2010-10-14T04:01:09+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/10/03/there-is-a-special-place-in-hell-reserved-for-maury-povich/</loc><lastmod>2010-10-03T22:29:02+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/09/21/more-reasons-to-be-disappointed-with-men-including-blue-walls/</loc><lastmod>2010-09-21T20:21:42+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/09/12/i-never-want-to-hear-hes-just-not-that-into-you-ever-again/</loc><lastmod>2010-09-13T07:14:39+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/08/24/getting-laid-in-your-20s-should-not-be-this-hard/</loc><lastmod>2010-08-24T22:03:07+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/08/20/no-my-body-is-not-for-your-viewing-pleasure/</loc><lastmod>2010-08-24T01:42:54+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/08/15/true-blood-we-want-to-eat-you/</loc><lastmod>2010-08-16T18:11:49+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/08/09/true-blood-hookah-i-need-to-know-you-got-a-death-wish/</loc><lastmod>2010-08-16T04:02:18+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/08/03/true-blood-i-just-need-some-meth/</loc><lastmod>2010-08-04T03:11:44+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/08/02/fake-accents-and-the-women-who-dont-love-them/</loc><lastmod>2010-08-04T20:33:44+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/07/25/true-blooc-eric-what-the-fck/</loc><lastmod>2010-07-26T04:42:59+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/07/20/true-blood-bitch-where-you-at/</loc><lastmod>2010-07-29T05:34:59+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/07/19/waiting-for-a-man-to-call-you-is-stupid-heres-why/</loc><lastmod>2013-08-03T13:28:52+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/07/17/inception-bringin-sexy-back/</loc><lastmod>2010-07-17T08:34:17+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/07/12/true-blood-ring-ring-hookah-ring-ring/</loc><lastmod>2013-02-19T02:34:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/07/07/knight-day-or-tom-cruise-is-somehow-still-hot/</loc><lastmod>2010-07-07T22:55:37+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/06/21/mr-northman-will-you-please-come-in/</loc><lastmod>2012-06-07T10:20:14+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/07/05/feminists-can-dance-on-bars-too-so-there/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/img_0646.jpg</image:loc><image:title>IMG_0646</image:title><image:caption>Flowers from some guy.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2010-07-06T18:54:31+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/06/29/true-blood/</loc><lastmod>2010-07-02T20:23:26+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/06/27/on-things-unrequited-especially-love/</loc><lastmod>2010-07-01T06:49:13+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/06/08/get-him-to-the-greek-and-my-love-of-aldous-snow/</loc><lastmod>2010-06-17T05:12:30+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/06/16/a-dire-situation-my-anthropologie-obsession/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/cassia-headband2.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Cassia Headband</image:title><image:caption>A pretty raffia headband - not for the faint of heart.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/cassia-headband1.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Cassia Headband</image:title><image:caption>A pretty raffia flower headband - not for the faint of heart.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/cassia-headband.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Cassia Headband</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/wild-wondrous-cardigan.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Wild &amp; Wondrous Cardigan</image:title><image:caption>An intricate floral cardigan.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/palenque-halter-dress.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Palenque Halter Dress</image:title><image:caption>A poufy halter dress with Meso-American embroidery.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/lanai-welcome-necklace.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Lanai Welcome Necklace</image:title><image:caption>Big, chunky necklaces.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/anthropologie-pueblo-dress.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Anthropologie Pueblo Dress</image:title><image:caption>I've wanted this for what seems like decades.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2014-07-13T14:10:34+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/06/01/cleanup-required-bad-kissing-and-its-victims/</loc><lastmod>2010-06-01T21:14:25+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/05/27/look-forward-to-the-new-look-of-fixed-air-2/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/heather-broadmoor-3.jpg</image:loc><image:title>heather-broadmoor-3</image:title><image:caption>Photo by Jasmine Rollins</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/heather-broadmoor-2.jpg</image:loc><image:title>heather-broadmoor-2</image:title><image:caption>Photo by Jasmine Rollins</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/heather-broadmoor.jpg</image:loc><image:title>heather-broadmoor</image:title><image:caption>Photo by Jasmine Rollins</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2010-05-28T05:08:15+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/05/26/thoughts-on-the-last-episode-of-lost/</loc><lastmod>2010-05-26T07:52:29+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/05/18/i-love-you-marina-abramovic/</loc><lastmod>2012-06-29T19:59:37+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/01/22/dont-take-your-anti-semitic-friend-to-a-serious-man/</loc><lastmod>2010-05-13T05:01:49+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/05/08/how-to-spot-a-manwhore-in-da-club-go-shawty/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/ed-hardy.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Ed Hardy by Christian Audigier</image:title><image:caption>Typical t-shirt worn by a manwhore.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2010-09-29T09:06:13+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/04/29/im-better-than-you-the-longterm-effects-of-bullying/</loc><lastmod>2010-09-13T03:25:56+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/04/19/kick-ass-feminist-style/</loc><lastmod>2010-04-30T16:34:25+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/04/08/on-women-and-tattoos/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/kat-von-d1.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Kat Von D</image:title><image:caption>Kat Von D, pretty tattooed lady.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/kat-von-d.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Kat Von D</image:title><image:caption>Kat Von D, pretty tattooed lady.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2014-03-16T16:00:56+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/03/31/tell-the-truth-even-if-it-makes-you-look-stupid/</loc><lastmod>2012-02-04T23:26:30+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/03/16/life-lessons-dont-drive-drunk/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/dui.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DUI</image:title><image:caption>Getting a DUI can and will ruin your life. Don't risk it.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2010-04-02T01:09:09+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/03/31/on-my-way-twentysomething-women-in-hollywood/</loc><lastmod>2010-03-31T08:40:54+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/03/23/it-messed-me-up-need-a-second-to-breathe/</loc><lastmod>2010-03-23T07:29:12+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://heathermarulli.com/2010/03/07/live-blog-e-live-from-the-red-carpet/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/meryl-streep-oscars.jpg</image:loc><image:title>2010 Oscars</image:title><image:caption>Meryl Streep looking glam as eva.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/cammie-d-oscars.jpg</image:loc><image:title>2010 Oscars</image:title><image:caption>Cammie D for the win.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/my-best-dressed1.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Demi Moore, 2010 Oscars</image:title><image:caption>Demi Moore. Wow.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://heathermarulli.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/my-best-dressed.jpg</image:loc><image:title>2010 Oscars, Demi Moore</image:title><image:caption>Demi Moore. 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